Anger is lack of understanding that makes us impulsive, maybe frustrated, perhaps with a strong desire for revenge. Everything in life is understanding. If understanding lacks, then wisdom lacks. If wisdom lacks, then violent, hateful, negative feelings manifest themselves within us.
Anger is very human & healthy
Being human means I must feel everything. Now, the wise thing is to actually dedicate time to feel everything. But feeling doesn’t mean following those feelings impulsively. If you feel, just paying close attention without reaction, you will become wise; and you will become healthy, because your mind will get a higher understanding of yourself.
You forgive for you. You move on for you. You clean your mind, your body, from the anxiety and frustration which comes from holding on to a grudge or anger.
Forgiveness is love. To truly love is not for the weak. To hate, to give in to anger, to keep a grudge, is what the weak of mind does. Are you weak…??
You must worry about your own state of mind, because this is what creates your experience in life; thus, you see life through the filter of your mind.
If that filter is filthy or stained with the colors of anger and frustration, with pain, then you will experience life in those terms. When this happens, your mood changes and your life choices get affected as well.
Light and Darkness are the same, they make each other one whole–one couldn’t exist without the other. Pain and joy are the same, just different degrees in this life of experiences.
The mind separates pain and joy, suffering and bliss; and when this happens the mind creates a duality, and you become anxious and frustrated because you compare the experiences. Love one and hate the other.
People demonize pain, they crucify it, and always escape it like the plague; however, while doing this you are demonizing and crucifying yourself, because you are the duality you created.
Healing is facing whatever experience, whatever sensation or feeling you might be having. Trying to escape only opens the wound and makes it vaster, stronger, more pungent; thus you become more desperate, traumatized, isolated and angry.
Each person lives in his own world, in his head and with his preoccupations; and when people interact with you, with the world, they do it under their own terms, based on however they feel and on what fills their minds at the moment.
Remind yourself that each person out there is like a robot, even though they may not understand why. Each person obeys their own program, their own conditioning, views, beliefs, unique values; and they have been molded by their past, personal experiences.
Once you understand this truly, you will interact, initiate relationships, work and socialize with people and not get affected, irritated, angered by what they say or do. Your mind will not be attached to them in any way.
Have in mind that you do have your own conditioning as well, but you probably do not see it in yourself as it is a subconscious behavior which may escape your awareness. Allow yourself to be free from your own conditioning and from the conditioning of others.
Ponder deeply why something bothers you. Study your thoughts and feelings about yourself and about people. Internalize that which you meet in your relationships, the challenges and frictions, the difficulties and different views. Don’t let it bother you and make you anxious, depressed, or disturbed in any way.
Anger is anxiety at its peak, it is a very dark and low vibration, toxic energy and enemy of any clarity. It possesses someone and shuts down the ability to rationalize and find harmony to enjoy life.
And it is so because it originates from fear, such may be a subconscious fear of not being loved, or of your beliefs being challenged, or others.
And people sometimes say that there is righteous anger; but the truth is that any anger transforms the mind, it brings violence, frustration, anxiety, dark thoughts to your mind. So, how can anger be righteous…??
Something righteous by definition is something virtuous. Now, something virtuous is highly moral, brings love to the mind, and peace to the mind. So, is anger a virtue…??
You may not like what someone else does or says, or the way she speaks to you, or the way he treats others, or how difficult your situation is, or such and such life moment. And this is fine. We all have different personalities and reactions.
But it is your mind the one you must master so it sees this and does not create anger, because if the mind is anxious with anger you are the only one poisoned. Poisoned because you lose clarity and harmony, and because you are now the puppet of that something or someone stirring the waters of your mind.
So, I can remain confident, clear, peaceful in my mind, and still react or behave in a better way to resolve a situation or respond to a person. Always keeping a clear and rational mind is key to self-awareness.
Whatever you feel is your own making, because whatever you feel has been created by a stream of thoughts you chose, perhaps thoughts you chose out of a bad situation; nevertheless, you chose that thought and you chose how you feel right now.
Quite often people get into certain situations, or accept the behavior of other people, or endure such and such suffering because they expect it or that person to change–i.e., they expect the apple tree to stop giving apples and give oranges instead.
When you are nurturing flowers in your garden you do not expect the weeds around them to just disappear on their own just because you wished it so, right?? If the weeds choke the flowers or if the weeds bring you some form of suffering, then it is your own fault; for you were expecting the weeds nature to change and adjust to your naive wishes.
So, the expectation was the thoughts you followed in your ignorance, and no one can be blamed for that but you; for it all happens in your mind. Life is about this, about knowing yourself and your psychology, coming to terms with and understanding your own thinking process. Why…??
Because your thinking process designs how you feel and what you experience–i.e., a “broken heart,” depression, joy, misery, jealousy, happiness, excitement, anger, etc.; it is all your thinking process and the thoughts you entertain daily.
Anger, desperation, anxiety, blinds you and leaves your mind weak and crippled. It is like a storm of smoke or heavy fog has filled the mind. You are at the mercy of the storm, lost and without seeing better direction.
This is why the mind must become a sacred place, the sanctum sanctorum, the harmony and reason you need; therefore, in your problems, arguments, life challenges, you can trust your mind to give you reason and strength.
In a world where everyone becomes angry, violent, unconscious, attached to beliefs and points of view easily, you must rise up and become better than this world, so you can face life and its events with poise and understanding.
If you are to be the best fighter, your own hero, the confident and faithful character of your life, then you must rule your mind and not allow it to fill you with anger and frustration whenever something or someone does not agree with you or with your way of seeing things.
All that is needed in life is a mind that is filled by peace and harmony, so that the best strategies and solutions may be clearly seen with wisdom and reason. No need for anger and frustration, is there…??
Your mind will react to situations the way it has been programmed to do so, so if you must practice a better way, a more focused and reasonable mental program to fight your battles, you must stop procrastinating and begin now changing the way your mind operates.
I knew someone who used to keep how he really felt bottled up inside, he was filling himself with all these unexpressed feelings and thoughts; but at some point he would feel overwhelmed due to all this toxic storage deep inside, and so like a balloon with too much air he would end up bursting into anger and anxiety.
This system of behavior was really bad for his own character development, for his mind and his overall health; and, furthermore, this really damaged his relationships and destroyed greater opportunities in life–i.e., his financial and societal opportunities, as his understanding of family values and tolerance of himself and of others.
And the worst, he would lose it whenever he would burst into these unexpressed emotions, his mind would get so angry and anxious that all love and understanding would leave him. He would lose himself in that moment.
He would really hate himself afterwards though, because he was a really nice guy with really lots of love buried deep to share with others. He just did not know the right way to share this love.
And this can happen to any of us, if there is no self-awareness. Self-awareness means in this case to know that you must express yourself to free yourself.
You have to share your thoughts and feelings with people; do not keep them inside just because you think they are negative or because you think people won’t like to hear them.
Be honest, but not cruel. Transform your words and feelings accurately into direct truth. Speak your mind, be firm in your personal convictions and loyal to yourself. You owe that much to yourself.
And you also owe that much to others if you want to walk the ethics-and-morals path, and if you want your character to develop mightily in your life.
Silence is the deepest language, because through silence we avoid spilling the rushing ego. Silence can connect us deeper than words. Silence at the right moments can have a healing and confident effect for us and for others, because it is words that hurt ourselves or damage others most of the time; so, through silence we are avoiding impatient and upset messages in our words.
Anger, stress, envy, and any form of anxiety can really transform one’s words into knives which cut deep, and this may hurt the relationships in our lives by losing the trust and respect from others, and even the respect we have for ourselves.
The thoughts behind words must be carefully screened, analyzed before we form any ideas with them. “Why am I about to respond this??” “Does this really make sense or am I just tired and angry??” Conscience and reason before any rash words and behaviors.
Being aware of what we say and do must become our everyday living, because if we are to remain positive and build better relationships and better futures then we must be truly authentic, impeccable with our expression.
Our soul, our will to go on in the face of challenges, must be fed by ethics and morals, by integrity in all we think, say and do. This attitude of the better human being makes us whole, healthy, and able to connect with others and with ourselves with full honesty.
All thought and word not based on truth, due to an anxious and stressed mind, must be transmuted by silence; thus, we must not say anything we might regret in the heat of the moment.
Better to wait so the nervousness and the anxiety can leave our minds, to thus later express ourselves better, more poised, with understanding and truth, and without the influence of a busy life.
How is it really helping you being upset at someone…?? Is it because you think that somehow you are punishing them with you childish attitude…?? Are you really so full of fear and hatred to keep that grudge and resentment alive, and so allow your ignorant ego to guide your moods and behaviors…??
Rain must pour and shower, be really heavy and cold, in order for an awakening, an illumination, a deeper understanding to reach your very conscience; however, it is your choice to remain stubborn in your ignorance and reactive ego and miss the rainbow the rain brings, or it is your choice as well to understand the role the rain has in your life and see that colorful rainbow which changes you for the better. And for this better change and illumination to reach your conscience, you must allow it to happen; yes, allow it, because the automatic mode or program of the mind is to resist and not let go, so you have to be self-aware and change the program thus allowing change in you to happen–thus allowing illumination to happen.
If you do not do this then you will infect yourself with the darkness of fear and resentment, which only affects you and not others; and without illumination in the relationship things will slowly crumble to dust, you might lose something important to you because of ill will to change. You see, it is not about them (even though society teaches so); it is about you, it is all about your own mental peace and harmony. Why…??Because in all aspects of life (romance, friendship, education, finding a job, etc.), to thrive and become successful in all, you need love, comprehension, discipline, a good and happy attitude; but you can only invite all these into your mind if there is already peace and harmony there.
When there is any resentment and jealousy, upset or anger, in your mind, then fear is there. This is why you must welcome the rain as a blessing, let it shower you while you remain alert in this downpour, keep your mind steadfast to invite love and higher understanding to illumine you. While it rains, think about yourself and your own inner peace, immerse yourself in the heart of the relationship or situation instead of letting the thunder and lightning to fill you with pain and anger–and maybe become someone you do not want to be!
Challenges and moments of confusion, arguments and disagreements in absolutely any relationship must become sources of illumination to you, seek the further understanding and the wiser acceptance; otherwise your mind will agitate and you will react out of fear and anger, perhaps even ruining all your possibilities for further growth.
- Asa Rodriguez - 