Love is a not a label already made for you, or an opinion, or an established way out there. You can be in love with yourself and with your life, if you let go of the influence from society, let go of what your family expects from you, and just worry about self-development.
What love is
Love is essentially what makes you healthy, what makes you feel confident, what allows you to feel happy and connected to your life–no matter the drama or challenges in it. That is why religions, politics, family and friends can’t really give you this; for they can only offer you moments of joy and mental constructs.
Where love is
Only you can give you love, if you learn to spend time with yourself and enjoy it. It’s all about befriending you, taking care of you. Because, even though humans have been programmed for thousands of years to be social animals, true love and happiness do not exist in the world and in what it has to offer. It only exists in you.
I have always had challenges, problems, issues fitting in. Since high school I felt a little odd, like I needed to find my purpose, like I was the odd duck in a sense. It took me many years of heartbreak and family loss to finally understand that I was to follow myself, that I was meant for something different.
And that’s the key, isn’t it?? Finding yourself and letting go of heartbreaks, resentments, and all that burden one may carry. Because life is hard no matter what we do, so at least being free of these burdens helps you see more clearly. And clarity is what we require to live better and to give our best.
Embracing my roller coaster
And since life will always be hard, because there’s always something painful or sad, which is where the lesson of life hides, one must learn to embrace life as it is and expect everything with a positive mindset. Not a naïve attitude, but a mindset built to seek inspiration and good vibes daily. I have seen many I love die.
I have been victim of racism and all prejudice. Etcetera. But the truth is we all have suffered, and still do; however, learning from our past to be better in our present makes for a better future. This is something I won’t get tired of repeating. The past happened the way it did for a reason, and it is up to each one of us to acknowledge that reason or not.
Lies, deception, cheating, hiding the truth. Even if you call it “a small lie.” All this, besides being immoral and hurting others, builds a subconscious program. In time, it feels normal to lie, even a little. The mind takes your behavior and, without your consent, builds a place for it. This is a real, physiological place in your brain. And now is there. And without you being aware it transforms you.
It becomes a “normal behavior” for you. And once it becomes a normal for you, it slowly cements like an addiction. Of course, for you is not an addiction. For you is harmless, and your normal, and something which has no importance. This makes you lose self-awareness. This blinds you to your own corruption. This is the illusion you build for yourself.
Others can see this corrupted behavior in you, but because it has transformed into your own mental programming you do not see it as corruption. This is why is so important to become aware even of the smallest patterns of thoughts in your mind. Don’t just do things without thinking. Study your own mental programs carefully.
And if you are into the ‘Harry Potter’, and also the ‘Percy Jackson’ novels, then you’ll enjoy this series about gods, demons, magic, and self-discovery.
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Your own ignorance, your own lack of insight into yourself is keeping you down. You might carry loneliness, resentment, guilt, self-pity, jealousy; but all these are just manifestations of your own ignorance. Your ignorance lies in not knowing who you are and what you can accomplish. Your own dreams and greater possibilities rest in your grasp, but your attention on the tragic, on the sad, on the anxiousness, on the frustration with yourself is what deviates you from the bigger picture. The bigger picture being what’s beyond all this negativity you keep feeding. And negativity is what you have to learn to let go.
When I say ‘you,’ I mean ‘we’; because any of us needs to remind ourselves that all thoughts of despair appear and become strong in us only if we lack self-awareness. Lack of self-awareness is lack of insight into myself, into my strengths, into my better self. For example, if I go through something difficult in life, this doesn’t mean that I should overwhelm myself with self-pity and frustration; and so let my life become worse and even more difficult in the future through my feelings of despair. These feelings of despair that I have allowed into myself, that I have created really, mark who I am to myself; and how I see myself.
One thing to understand is that how I see myself is everything in life. So, ask yourself: Do I see myself patient, committed, able…?? Do I believe that my life will turn around if I believe in myself even through hardship…?? Do I lack real insight and understanding of my own strengths and capacities…?? Why should I feel depressed because things right now are not going as I expect…?? Life is based on asking yourself these questions, with honesty, with desire for true answers. I know that most of us ignore these questions, but in reality the answers to these questions may give us strength and insight into how we really feel. It is all about how we feel. Because your life is you. So, in order for life to be good, then you must feel good about it; and you must make it happen in your mind first, not wait around for some external miracle. Create the miracle yourself.
Thanks for reading.
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It is to be yourself fully, without copying, without trying to fit in with the crowd, and without following what others say and do blindly.
Originality, individuality, to stand on your own, to be real, authentic. What is it…?? It has to do with freedom to be truly yourself, truly unique. And this, of course, leads us to truth. What is truth…?? Let’s carefully think about it:
Truth is something which is based on 3 things. 1- Individuality, 2- Understanding, 3- Moral values.
1- Individuality: To actually know truth is to think for yourself, by yourself, and not follow the beliefs, lifestyles and habits established by the very ignorant society.
2- Understanding: To actually know truth you must ponder things, see your own fault in every aspect, and let go of your psychological attachments to pride and self-pity.
3-Moral values: Truth itself can only be applied, not thought and felt. (The illusive process of thinking and feeling does not make you truthful.) And to apply it, you leave excuses, you stop blaming others, you see beyond your ego, and you work on your character by doing what is healthier and better in your life without making excuses.
And while you wait for “BENJAMIN JONES – The Return of The Gods,” fantasy/mystery book trailer, check out this video I just made about truth vs. justice, which goes in deeper following the above post…
We make choices each day, each moment, whether aware of them or not. We choose what to eat. We choose where to go. We choose how to spend our time. We choose what to think and what thoughts to let rule our thinking and feeling. Outcomes are then results of these choices.
One can believe that one was forced, pushed, made to do something; but, as grown ups, we steer our lives. Some choices we make in ignorance, unaware, and blinded by passions or fears. Some other choices we make knowingly, stressed, or fully clear on what we want. But the worst thing we can do to ourselves, which is exactly what most people do unconsciously, is to remain stubborn and blame others for the direction of our lives.
Life is your mind, meaning that we build our lives as we go. Of course, we might feel pressure, frustration, anger, and the rest; however, the truth still stands. And what is the truth…?? The truth is that our choices make our habits, our behaviors, and everything we experience. While you are reading this, you are probably coming up with excuses to blame your life on others. But deep inside you, you know the truth. Live that truth. Stop the excuses and self-pity.
And if you enjoyed that, please take a moment to visit my work. I write about self-development, the poetry of the better life, love and relationships.
REVIEW OF MY BOOKS:“I really loved the depth of your approach, specially because sometimes I struggle with low self-esteem and that gets into my relationship with my new wife. Thanks for helping us become aware of all these things. Much love to you and yours.”
REVIEW OF MY BOOKS:“It allowed me to see another explanation of love..with a touch of humor i was able to find a sensible place to kick back to enjoy knowing I have always been Loved!! YOUR advice is like finding a treasure. Thank you so much sharing!”
If your mind is focused on others, then your mind is not focused on you. That brings anxiety into you, loneliness, feelings of self-neglect. It might happen subconsciously. But after this, you act out, you become impulsive, irrational, negative with yourself and with others.
So, keep your focus on yourself. Battle yourself to find yourself. Better yourself. Let others be. Don’t allow what others think and do to affect you. People don’t do things to you, but you do it to yourself by clinging on to thoughts of attachment about them. Life is a miracle to be discovered in you, so keep seeking it in you.
I write about issues we all live. Life can be difficult if we don’t have the right inspiration. Please follow me if you seek this inspiration. And check out my books below. Thanks.
Be patient. Be humble. Be committed. Stay on course and focused. Don’t let negativity, loud and anxious voices in your head, and your stress, bring you down.
Nothing can disturb you more than your own mind, so focus on self-discipline specially in the midst of hard times. Keep your mind and body sacred. Watch what you eat. Be careful of what you allow into your mind.
Be mindful of your thoughts. Pay attention to the time you give to others, because people can suck you into their dramas and anxieties. In order to lead your life successfully, you must be self-aware at all times.
Don’t block yourself from that warm feeling of wholeness in you. Don’t fill your mind with desires for something and/or someone. Leave all the overthinking and planning obsessively. The worst you can do is to be here while your mind is somewhere else. Be present wholly.
To be present wholly, be actually present, stop thinking so much, and learn to value the moment you are living. It all stems from the moment you are living right now–happiness, love, success, confidence, etc. Don’t let your mind wander and steal from you the value of this moment.
You have one life to live, lead it from the present moment. Many times people engage in an activity while their minds are somewhere else. This is not productive. This is not being aware of yourself. This is seeking the illusion of love and happiness in your mind, instead of being yourself love and happiness in your body and in the moment.
Being in a good mood is being positive, even in the face of something you do not like. Being in a good mood means to focus on the positive side of your life. Being in a good mood is to choose inspiring conversations and ignoring mediocre ones which do not serve you.
Being in a good mood is to give your time to people and situations in life without letting your mind be affected by any toxicity. And to be in a good mood you must keep your mind fit, healthy, truthful; and without self-deceit and self-neglect.
To be in a good mood watch entertaining and inspiring movies which give you better mental vibrations. To be in a good mood choose good music as well. And to keep yourself in a good mood develop greater habits daily, inspiring and creative habits which strengthen your unique character.