I feel that sometimes is easy to drown ourselves in sorrow. Not enough money. The mortgage or rent is coming up. The kids are misbehaving in school. Nobody supports me. It’s very damaging to think like this. Dangerous mental habits.
Think.What is required in life…?? What is absolutely paramount in expanding your mind and understanding?? What is the one thing that helps in our lives, to create, to find solutions, to ease ourselves in the face of problems??
Creativity. Imagination. The spark to dream and grow. Ideas and insights to boost your own capacity for imagination. Because sometimes the pressures of daily life can get to us, and the mind can become a terrible place with loud voices of fear and negativity.
Relationship problems. Any problem really. These require a mind who can step away from the overwhelming anxiety, overthinking, horrible and constant stress. This must be a mind which expands in creativity, because creativity helps your mind to create solutions and to imagine better steps to accomplish our goals and fix what needs to be fixed. And for that, and specially in this quarantine times, I find that books can help us discover new ways in life.
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How do I find the laughter, the joy, the inspiration…??
Look within you past your own thoughts of negativity. For a moment, forget your finances, the people you don’t tolerate, the things you dislike about yourself and your life.
We all have something to be thankful for. But sometimes we focus on the negatives, what goes wrong in our lives, maybe we don’t make enough money, perhaps have relationship problems, etc. Also, it could be that we remain attached to what goes on in the world right now, maybe Covid, perhaps the fact that people are suffering because of this. Whenever we want to think about something negative, we will find it. Easily find it. And the human mind is attracted to “easily,” which means the human mind, in most of us, tends to gravitate towards something which doesn’t require much thought.Check out this article please: Potential for happiness.
I spent my Thanksgiving with family. Obviously, not all family due to Covid-19. I remained focused on my freedom. I quickly thought about all the negatives and things which need to be fixed in my life, and then I thought about all the daily things to keep myself grateful. I rediscovered that the positive things give me inspiration, strength to keep going and become better at fixing patiently that which I may find to be negative in my life. And that is just it. We have to look deeply inside ourselves and leave our problems aside, find the little things which can inspire us in our lives. This may be easy or not. But it is always possible.
To be happy in your life, you must do this. A Happy Life Now. You must understand that your troubles do not compare themselves to your blessings. I don’t know you, and I don’t need to know you to tell you this. Because you may be having all the problems you have, but you are alive and you have the capacity to look forward to fix whatever needs to be fixed. Or maybe whatever needs to be fixed really is just a wakeup call, or perhaps a challenge which exists to help you see things in a different perspective in order to change. Change helps you become better at your own life because it brings you awakening, intelligence, and it increases your capacity to see what you didn’t see before about your own life. So, seek the positive, as small as this may be; and keep a mind and heart of gratitude.
What is moral character…?? What is integrity..?? What are true moral values…??
Today, many people fail to realize that attitude, behavior, habit, is everything that makes a better human being. Words are just that: Words. So, let’s say you have great talent for something specifically, and this makes you be proud of yourself and attract people. You are charming. You always say nice things. You always give advise to others. But then you have your other side, such side unfriendly to others, not loving and tolerant with your own family. This makes you a “fake.” See, everything in life is about character, which is about being in touch with your own self; however, you do not have any character, true moral values, if you wear a mask just to deceive people.
Let us say now that a businessman dresses well, talks well, acts professionally with other people he tries to impress as potential clients. Most people would say that he is a good, mature, honest man; because they see this man nicely dressed, responsible with his business and good with all this people/potential clients. This man is superficial, and here’s why. He then shows another side. He does not treat his wife with respect. He does not spend time with his family. He scoffs at homeless people on the street. He hates people who are not important and wealthy like he is. Would you say this man is a decent human being now..??
So, the point I am trying to make here is that what makes us decent human beings is not how we look to others or how others see us, but it is moral attitude every day. How I talk to my neighbor. The example I give to my kids. The daily habits I practice. Moral character shines in our small day tasks. Do I keep a good attitude in my difficult times or do I become intolerant and hurtful to others. So, whatever you think of yourself, however cool and charming you believe you are, nothing matters if you do not strengthen your moral character.
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So, how does one choose what’s important in his life…?? How does one measure happiness?? The essence of happiness. Now, one thing to understand is that pleasure and happiness are two different things. Pleasure is something of the mind and relevant for this society, like money, like the need to form relationships, like a career, like the need to belong to a group. This could be good or bad. Your choice. But a deeper look into happiness tells us that happiness in none of these things. What happens if all these things I have mentioned are taken away…?? How would you feel if there is no money, no relationship with another, no career, no support and validation from a group??
Happiness, on the other hand, is something which exists in you, no matter what you have or do not have. Money cannot give you happiness for example. Money is good, but it can only give you pleasure. The pleasure to buy the food you like. The pleasure to support yourself and your family financially. The pleasure to travel. The pleasure to buy a computer and connect through the internet with millions of people. And all this pleasure is necessary or not in our societies, but it is not relevant to happiness. Just because you have money, a family, a career, or belong to a political or religious group, does not mean you’re happy. Happiness is in you, in your thoughts of inspiration and positivity; however, it has nothing to do with the superficial, even if important to you, achievements in society.
I have written an article which expands on our inner capacity. Please take a read. Hope you find it helpful: Strength. Courage. Passion.
This leads us to Great intelligence. This intelligence is not intellectual. This intelligence is highly moral, of your heart, and it speaks loudly of your inner spirit. Money cannot give you this intelligence. Books, family, religion, politics, cannot give you this intelligence. Because this intelligence is the capacity in you to be happy. Love and happiness. Plain and simple. You may have had a terrible childhood. You may have had a tragic trauma. You may be carrying much distress, loneliness, misery right now; however, the magic to actually be happy despite this still is in you. When you were a child, it was there. But as you grew up, the stress of this society, the stress to make money, the stress to build family life, the stress of disliking other religions and political parties affected you. You, subconsciously, without knowing, allowed it to happen. But you can still recover this if you reach deep within you, but it takes surrendering your anxious mind to your heart.
This one is about a little hope, learning through life, and the strength to do it. Thought it could be relevant as well: Thus Awaken…
Thanks for reading. If interested, read this one about the main characters of my new young adult/fantasy novel titled “BENJAMIN JONES. The Call of The Shaman.” I am really proud of these characters: BENJAMIN JONES. Fiction characters.
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A cheerful little girl with funny tails is lying on the white carpet; isolated on the white background
I woke up early to write, like each morning. Currently the second book in the series ‘BENJAMIN JONES,’ titled “The Return of The Gods.” You can read a sample chapter of my published book here, the first book in the series BENJAMIN JONES. The Call of The Shaman.
I was thinking about how I was feeling and the importance of pushing ourselves and our passions, aiming to feel we are developing ourselves more and more. And how sometimes we give up on ourselves, even without wanting to do it. Because of what they say, or because of what happened in the past, or because of how daunting something seems. This can become our demons, our negative habits and way of living; and, even worse, in time if we let ourselves feel like this we may start really believing we are worthless. Great amounts of people in the world are unhappy because of this.
And then life starts losing that spark and inspiration we seek every day. When life turns dull like this then, a giant void or emptiness appears in us. Nothing matters anymore, because we lost our passion, our zest, our motivation in life. A sense of direction in life. And our sense of direction in life must be born from our inner moral compass, which at the same time is nourished by our habit of health, courage, excellence. This means that we must aim to be the best we can be, and so not postpone things. Work on our talents. Find our talents. Never let others bring you down. Never let those negative and loud voices in your head tell you that you cannot do it or that you are worthless.
Push boundaries (video)Pushing ourselves then. Pushing ourselves without overthinking and allowing our egos to block us from getting better. Because life is all about how we feel. It’s about quality. And we feel better, successful, happy, when we are motivating ourselves to become the best we can be.
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I am all about greater understanding, empathy, intelligence. Not intellectuality. Intellectuals can rise in society because this one is superficial, but in life to know true love and happiness intellectuality cannot help. Intellectuality is a burden, because it makes you stubborn, desperately seeking answers and meaning, it creates the anxiety and the need to belong to groups.
Intelligence, on the other hand, makes you lose stubbornness, it makes you more compassionate, full of understanding of your own actions and its consequences. Intelligence loosens your grip to philosophies and rigid concepts. And intelligence is only adopted by an individual, not by groups.
Simply measure people by character, not by words, not by the money they make, not by the position in society. Asleep idiots, men and women, fall fascinated by the allure of this superficiality, and we then have the chaos, the division, the dull minds in the world.
One needs to let go of trying to fit in and honor one’s group. Waking up to this is about seeing with the eyes of truth, because no real beauty and love can exist in people who cannot leave their egos and measure others by empathy, by character, by a greater human spirit. Life is simple, because it is about letting go of ego.
Letting go of ego is about detaching yourself from groups, from beliefs, from opinions. Letting go is about freedom. Freedom to become an individual. Not a republican. Not a democrat. Not a liberal. Not a Christian. Not a Buddhist. Not any other group which divides. Letting go is about being an individual who does not seek a fake identity by following and becoming part of a group.
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Life can be challenging. One can experience loneliness, doubt, jealousy, anger, and a myriad of other darkness. This goes with being human, with exploring ourselves in this physical existence we call life. I went through so much after my father’s death several years ago. I’m sure we have all experienced the impotence and anger in these terrible moments. Our minds make our experiences. From a thought to a feeling, and from a feeling to a constant experience in us. The constant experience can be negative or positive, depending on the first thought we had and nourished into a feeling which grew constant and powerful in us.
There is a well of hope and faith in us in spite of all negativity and struggle. This well is deep inside us, but it cannot be fed by the outside. Sure, you can have people supporting you. Sure, you can also have great self-help books remind you, and religious scriptures too. Sure, you can even have the opportunity to travel and introduce yourself to more inspiring cultures and people. All this may help, but it won’t last. Not unless you find the strength, faith, hope in you in the form of self-belief. Because even if you lose something important to you, or fail at something, or encounter tragedy in any aspect, inner belief will get you out.
Inner belief says “I don’t care what happens in life, I will keep going filled with patience and passion.” Inner belief says “Nothing will stop me, nothing will bring me down; because my focus is on moving on and progressing.” And so, how do you get that strong self-belief…?? By developing yourself, by seeking your passion, by immersing yourself in habits which keep you feeling great about yourself. Great habits are the key in life. Sitting around watching TV and drinking beer with friends, or even by yourself?? Not a great habit. No, I am talking about habits which push you outside of your comfort zone. Habits which add value to your character.
Habits which help you understand yourself and your strengths, like writing, like painting, like sports of strategy, like exercise, like cooking healthily, like educating yourself on science or on any other passion you have. The secret or aim here is to grow as an individual, patiently, step by step, daily; however, it is also about doing something fun, something which ignites your passion and sense of wonder in life. I am personally a big advocate for better habits. I write about self-development, through non-fiction works and now through fantasy works which bring magic, adventure, and also insights into what it is to be alive. I hope you can see the truth in this, and so begin to nourish that belief in you, making yourself unstoppable.
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I encountered a man once who always talked about politics, blaming politicians and the government. This is all he did. He lived his life blaming others. And when things were wrong in his life, he would always say, “Well, God wants this,” and “Why is God doing this??” It was never his fault, but always another person’s fault. Either a real person in politics or an imaginary belief in the skies. And on top of that, he would look around him daily. If he felt wrong or somehow upset, frustrated or angry, he would blame his boss, or his neighbors, or his own wife. He was totally arrogant and wouldn’t see his own weakness in the pitiful blaming game he was constantly playing.
Life is a string of moments. These moments, each one of them, are originated by choices. Intimate or very personal choices. We are always choosing, even if we are not aware of it. We have a conscious and subconscious. When the conscious does not choose, the subconscious does; and it is automatic. The subconscious is reflected in our habits and behaviors, the ones we are not fully aware of taking. The issue is that if the economy is bad, then you will blame your life on this in order to feel better about your bad conscious and subconscious choices. The same happens with everything in your life. And this is running away from your personal responsibilities.
If you divorce or break up, then you will blame the other person. At least most people do this. In your anxious mind, this excuses you from your own misguided behavior during the relationship. So, what you are doing is denying your own faults; and by this denial you are programming your subconscious to keep making wrong choices in the future. This is not working on yourself, and it is keeping you down in terms of love, happiness, and that great feeling of success we all want. Focusing on yourself, in the other hand, helps you see your own faults; thus you can better understand your own subconscious programming, fix it, and through some soul-searching better yourself.
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If she wants you, don’t worry about the rest. Love her entirely, with passion and honesty; and she will be yours, as long as you do this. The feminine just wants to feel loved, feel her own beauty blooming. This is her sole purpose for existence. This is her nature.
She has been born in a physical body to learn about her own beauty, and to feel the emotional and physical affection her soul’s nature craves. As you love her, she will find safety and comfort, freedom and sweetness in herself and with you. This will inspire her to better herself, to love herself, to keep herself beautiful and passionate.
She will mold to the masculine if she feels truly loved, free to be herself, and without judgment from him. If man can stop trying so hard. If man can stop overthinking. If man can stop trying to control and fix everything, then she becomes his in mind, heart and body.
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Nothing is more hurtful and it brings more anxiety to your mind than to hold on to the past, to the loss, to the tragedy, to the injustice, to what did or did not happen. How can someone possibly be happy like this…?? No, you can pretend; but you can never truly be happy attached to your past. This is very personal, but at some point in your life journey you must stop your stressed, anxious and stubborn mind to see this, to acknowledge that you cannot heal if you feed your addiction to what happened.
Your path to healing is one of love, but you cannot fight yourself and struggle in the process; because if you do, you are just widening the gap between unhealthy and healthy. Widening the gap is to resist to healing, because you are attached to whatever hurt you, or to whatever you allowed to hurt you. This is what intensifies the hurt or the chaos in you. Can’t you see this…??
So, it is about reconnecting with yourself, with your happier self and the one part in you which is not attached to the past. You are responsible for this reconnecting. You can feel you need it. And in order to achieve it, you must detach from the old to build the new. We always talk about love, but love cannot truly exist in your mind if you remain attached to the hurt, to the loss, to the struggle.
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And if you enjoyed reading my article, please take a moment to visit my currently published work. I write about self-development, the poetry of the better life, love and relationships.
REVIEW OF MY BOOKS:“I really loved the depth of your approach, specially because sometimes I struggle with low self-esteem and that gets into my relationship with my new wife. Thanks for helping us become aware of all these things. Much love to you and yours.”
REVIEW OF MY BOOKS:“It allowed me to see another explanation of love..with a touch of humor i was able to find a sensible place to kick back to enjoy knowing I have always been Loved!! YOUR advice is like finding a treasure. Thank you so much sharing!”
- Asa Rodriguez - 