Sometimes life can throw us things we don’t expect. Sometimes we make the wrong turn and we end up suffering the consequences. For that, I believe planning ahead, envisioning what you want, studying how things could go, is critical in terms of understanding the right choices to make.
And it is truly important to explore life, but to give your best and make the best choices you can. We all fumble, make mistakes, get too overwhelmed with something and distracted. And planning is taking the time to avoid distraction the best you can to achieve your goals.
Achieving your goals
It’s very important to have a guide in life, to have a great purpose, a great passion that fills your heart daily. When people lack goals, they don’t have vision. Vision of what you want specifically is paramount. I lived for many years of my adult life not really having a greater purpose.
I guess I was just working and surviving. That is, until I found my writing. Sharing with others. Creativity took shape and it filled my heart with greater purpose. I’m just reminding you that this is something we all need, and it all begins with planning and envisioning what you want in life.
I encountered a man once who always talked about politics, blaming politicians and the government. This is all he did. He lived his life blaming others. And when things were wrong in his life, he would always say, “Well, God wants this,” and “Why is God doing this??” It was never his fault, but always another person’s fault. Either a real person in politics or an imaginary belief in the skies. And on top of that, he would look around him daily. If he felt wrong or somehow upset, frustrated or angry, he would blame his boss, or his neighbors, or his own wife. He was totally arrogant and wouldn’t see his own weakness in the pitiful blaming game he was constantly playing.
Life is a string of moments. These moments, each one of them, are originated by choices. Intimate or very personal choices. We are always choosing, even if we are not aware of it. We have a conscious and subconscious. When the conscious does not choose, the subconscious does; and it is automatic. The subconscious is reflected in our habits and behaviors, the ones we are not fully aware of taking. The issue is that if the economy is bad, then you will blame your life on this in order to feel better about your bad conscious and subconscious choices. The same happens with everything in your life. And this is running away from your personal responsibilities.
If you divorce or break up, then you will blame the other person. At least most people do this. In your anxious mind, this excuses you from your own misguided behavior during the relationship. So, what you are doing is denying your own faults; and by this denial you are programming your subconscious to keep making wrong choices in the future. This is not working on yourself, and it is keeping you down in terms of love, happiness, and that great feeling of success we all want. Focusing on yourself, in the other hand, helps you see your own faults; thus you can better understand your own subconscious programming, fix it, and through some soul-searching better yourself.
And if you liked this article, please check out my books:
We make choices each day, each moment, whether aware of them or not. We choose what to eat. We choose where to go. We choose how to spend our time. We choose what to think and what thoughts to let rule our thinking and feeling. Outcomes are then results of these choices.
One can believe that one was forced, pushed, made to do something; but, as grown ups, we steer our lives. Some choices we make in ignorance, unaware, and blinded by passions or fears. Some other choices we make knowingly, stressed, or fully clear on what we want. But the worst thing we can do to ourselves, which is exactly what most people do unconsciously, is to remain stubborn and blame others for the direction of our lives.
Life is your mind, meaning that we build our lives as we go. Of course, we might feel pressure, frustration, anger, and the rest; however, the truth still stands. And what is the truth…?? The truth is that our choices make our habits, our behaviors, and everything we experience. While you are reading this, you are probably coming up with excuses to blame your life on others. But deep inside you, you know the truth. Live that truth. Stop the excuses and self-pity.
And if you enjoyed that, please take a moment to visit my work. I write about self-development, the poetry of the better life, love and relationships.
REVIEW OF MY BOOKS:“I really loved the depth of your approach, specially because sometimes I struggle with low self-esteem and that gets into my relationship with my new wife. Thanks for helping us become aware of all these things. Much love to you and yours.”
REVIEW OF MY BOOKS:“It allowed me to see another explanation of love..with a touch of humor i was able to find a sensible place to kick back to enjoy knowing I have always been Loved!! YOUR advice is like finding a treasure. Thank you so much sharing!”
In life you get what you are, not what you wish, not what you think you deserve. And you are your experience. Are you happy…?? Sad?? Frustrated?? annoyed?? Envious?? This is where your attention goes. Your attention will give you your experience. I cannot feel frustrated in life if my attention is on moving forward, on reaching everyday goals, on developing myself.
You are your attention. And where you direct this attention is where you live. It is your very source for frustration or inspiration. We have a choice before us each moment we breathe. The choice will dictate how we feel and where our priorities lie. This is where your attention goes, where your power goes. So hold hour power.
I write about issues we all live. Life can be difficult if we don’t have the right inspiration. Please follow me if you seek this inspiration. And check out my books below. Thanks.
Review: “I really loved the depth of your approach, specially because sometimes I struggle with low self-esteem and that gets into my relationship with my new wife. Thanks for helping us become aware of all these things. Much love to you and yours.”
Review: “It allowed me to see another explanation of love..with a touch of humor i was able to find a sensible place to kick back to enjoy knowing I have always been Loved!! YOUR advice is like finding a treasure. Thank you so much sharing!”
To believe in yourself is to let go of your mistakes belonging to past memories, to learn from them and make better choices from now on.
To believe in yourself is to inquire deeply into your psychological traumas and fears, and so to rise above them and lead your life without those burdens.
If you carry your burdens without inquiring into them, without facing them, without understanding why you choose to suffer them, then there is no belief in yourself; for carrying your sorrows will block you from positivity and strength to see the best in you.
To believe in yourself then is to have faith in yourself. Now, to truly have faith in yourself IS NOT to blindly hope that something good will happen in your life; but it is to ACTUALLY believe (as fact), trust, acknowledge your strengths now so you can lead yourself to a better life moving forward.
Nothing can be accomplished, inwardly and also outwardly, without believing in yourself. You can put your trust, commitment, faith in others; however, this is just an escape if you do not actually believe in you.
So, learn to see your strengths and adopt positive attitudes towards yourself, even amidst challenges and fears, because this is the only path to transforming yourself into a better person, and your life into a better life.
Love is not something you force, design to your whim, or manipulate; for the mind, the ego, seeks this. Love is something which cannot be explained, something which unites people, something which does not seek to judge or control.
To love is not to judge, it is to accept somebody else as they are; so, you either walk away or you stay with them, but if you stay you accept them and nurture their growth alongside you.
Trying to “fix” people, trying to force them into doing what you think is right, trying to influence the outcome of any relationship is a political move, it is competition, it is to seek control–and it is NOT love.
That is why a human relationship, ANY human relationship actually, is a “leap of faith” as they say. You get into a relationship with the best desires to progress together, with your lover, with your family, with your friends, with whomever.
But you do not know what is going to happen next, because love for us is something we build each moment, with each decision, with each behavior. Something bothers you now about the other person, you must accept it then; we all have flaws.
Something appears to be hurtful to you, you must communicate your feelings and explain it; be direct, honest, but do not try to force people. You either show care and love each moment, or you opt for walking away and doing exactly what you want; however, you do not try to control or judge if you stay.
The way you live your life, your choices, your lifestyle, your behaviors, the ways you think and feel, must be a celebration of your individuality and uniqueness. What is that mean…??
That means that as an adult you have to find within yourself the integrity and honesty to realize your own fears, and your own weaknesses, all your demons and the ways you choose to escape yourself, your loneliness, your emptiness.
Do not rely on others to give you love, happiness, enlightenment, or any way to freedom; but be your unique self, stand up and be curious to figure out your hidden self, so you can better your life and not just complain about it and bitch and moan like most people do.
‘NOBODY AND NOTHING EXISTS BUT YOURSELF.’ Understand this and you will understand the hidden parts of yourself, people around you, and the entire way Nature and The Universe works.
No one can give you this gift. You may spend your whole life expecting it from others, from society and its system, and thus be always disappointed and confused, feeling worthless and frustrated.
Learn to see that you are the only one on whom you need to focus, and on whom you need to work; and then, if you do this honestly, everything and anything else will come into place and fix itself in your life, for this is your magic in life.
Thanks to difficult experiences we can all learn from mistakes and from the very hell of our situations, our choices are meant to be superior each time; thus, you must pay attention to all you hate, all you dislike, all you suffer, find the illumination to your very conscience, even a tiny flicker will do–something which can help you expand your mind. Step by step you become awakened in your situations, and patiently you may really discover that you are as well a god…
“I discovered that I am a god…“
Such miserable night my heart felt broken, And after that great pain you left me in tears; Alive in me are the last words and bitter kiss, Cursed, alone, depressed, stalked by my fears. O there was time in silence which grew in me! Many days of blindness existing without glee! And in those moments of misery I saw a light, O ’tis was finding lovely heaven in my sight, You see, I saw the place where angels prod… Far my tears, I discovered that I am a god…
I felt empty around lovely flowers without you, I lived in hell even through happy memories; My desire consumed my freedom back then, Loneliness was death in my confused reveries. O there was time in silence which grew in me! Many days of blindness existing without glee! But in meditation I learned the magic of true love! O, Love, I was transfigured into a divine dove! Yes, I found perfection even though I was flawed… Saw the truth in me, I discovered that I am a god…
Nagging images in my mind kept me as your slave, I thought it was love the attachment to my passions; So cruel those minutes without my pride beautified, Then forgive me, Love, mine were ignorant actions. O there was time in silence which matured in me! I am not that silly boy anymore who took our glee! For that pain I caused was my blessing in disguise, And, O Sweet, I learned about my own ego and lies. I freed myself from the constant demon’s prod… I know love now, I discovered that I am a god…
How can anything be over as long as there is life…?? What creates and guides your life is choices, whether you are aware of your choices or not. Why would you give up or give in if you can make choices, whether small or big choices…?? Choices must be meditated and analyzed in order for you to see your life move in the right direction.
Once you see a challenge, a tragedy, a great loss which cripples you and forces you to deviate from your path, even in smaller things happening in your life, you might feel defeated, broken, depressed, and even begin to believe that all you have done until now has been for naught. But why would you do that to yourself…?? You must look at life as the beautiful field where you come to learn, and it is why you must at some point encounter great tragedies and gargantuan problems which shall shake you violently; for you need pain and suffering to elevate yourself above it, and for that same matter to discover your bliss and create your heaven you have to learn to embrace pain and dwell in hell for a period. Who are you to be above all pain and suffering…?? You are human, are you not….??
Whatever age, whatever situation, there is purpose, there is much coming for you; however, the secret of life is not to question or seek that purpose, for this shall bring you mental insanity, frustration, self-destruction. The secret is to remain mentally on a good path but not to attach yourself to it, so when storms come–and they will come–and they deviate you, even pound you and cripple you for a while, you get back up and create yourself another good path.
“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” ~ Nelson Mandela.
“When the dog looks at you, the dog is not thinking what kind of a person you are. The dog is not judging you. We have much to learn from a simple dog.” ~ Eckhart Tolle; German-Canadian spiritual teacher, public speaker, and author.
“I hate prejudice, discrimination, and snobbishness of any kind, it always reflects on the person judging and not the person being judged. Everyone should be treated equally.” ~ Gordon Brown; British politician.
Life allows us to make different paths, and that exactly shapes people, and by the choices we make under any circumstance we are forging our journey along this path; this is something unique which is the heart of our level of living and understanding.
And nobody is better than anybody due to having different experiences; we are all different, perhaps with a lower or higher thinking depth, perhaps we have taken our time to meditate on ourselves or not, but we are all here to learn from our unique and challenging experiences.
Sometimes people make the mistake of seeing a rich person, a bully, an angry person, a hateful person, etc., and think that they have it easy or that they are evil because of their words or because of the violence they commit. But, the truth that your untainted heart knows, and that your ego may quarrel with, is that we have all gone through experiences and lifestyles that have shaped us as the human beings we presently are, and many times the choices we have made out of ignorance were not the best ones.
But whether you understand this and tolerate it or not is a reflection of you, not of the people you judge.
This speaks of your own knowledge of self and of the control you have of your mind, such must be always a peaceful and harmonious mind in order to see through all prejudice and anger from the rebellious ego.
You must accept people the way they are, even if we are talking about Hitler himself; because nobody is born evil, but the choices and the experiences growing up make good or evil.Learn to be the sage, the wise one who can see through this veil of prejudice.
And with this I am not saying that we should hug and kiss every damn idiot out there who rapes, murders, bullies, and even that talks down to you; however, I am saying that we must keep our minds peaceful and free of anger and anxiety, and I am saying that we must keep the attention on ourselves and not on judging others, because while you hate and judge others you are distancing yourself from self-love, you are letting evil into your own mind to take over, you are the one choosing wrong now, you are the one committing the sin.
Think about it and be wise in your own daily choices.