In any relationship what matters is your daily behavior towards the other person. One truly knows the affections of another by treatment, by living it, by observing the relationship and its course. Words are desires in the moment, how we feel; but, as nice as this sounds, they are not reality. Behavior is reality.
Truth is honesty. A strong character showing sweetness and respect. This is what is required to connect and grow a relationship. And it needs a silent mind. A mind which does not seek self-satisfaction but honest communion.
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Understanding is really different for each one of us. Most people think that they understand something when they create their intellectual beliefs and ideologies; but this just creates the illusion of intelligence, of true understanding, and it designs pride in people.
What drives the human being is emotional, which it is to really take whatever you know to heart; furthermore, this emotional drive makes you change, real and immediate change in your life. This is true understanding. True intelligence. True enlightenment.
So, if you intellectually see the truth of being healthy, the truth of not being attached to anything and to anyone, the truth of real patience, it does not mean you understand anything at all. This does not mean you are intelligent. Accumulation of knowledge is not intelligence, understanding, or enlightenment.
The ONLY true understanding is change, which is the core of intelligence, which is sheer enlightenment. Thinking truth is a mere illusion of the ego that you tell yourself in your own vanity, because it does not create true morality in your daily actions.
Now, one who TRULY understands truth is not responsible for another’s understanding or lack of it. Each one of us is responsible for our own morality or immorality in action. I am only responsible for myself, for speaking and behaving with truth; and so, I am not responsible for what you or others understand, or do not understand.
Once upon a time a young man who had been reported killed in action came home from being a prisoner of war. His family and his buddies, and even his girlfriend, had mourned him as dead and then, more or less getting over their grief, moved on.
His sudden reappearance was disconcerting, to say the least. They had all loved him, but they had in effect written him out of their lives. And his girlfriend was engaged to marry someone else. Moreover, he didn’t seem like the boy who had gone off to war. He was thin and haggard and haunted by horrible memories.
So, what do you think he did…?? Even though it was difficult to accept for him at first, he soon realized that change is a reality and that is wise to accept it with joy and forget the past, your old life, your old memories.
Because life is the reality now, not the past, not the future, not your memories, not your desires; but now you adapt to it, and you do whatever you have to do to enjoy life. Adjusting to change, to new conditions, is indeed what intelligence is.
To remain attached to your old life, to your views, to old ways of behavior, to your beliefs and desires, is what being a fool is; because the fool cannot accept the progress of life, new moral values, and new change. The fool has not developed his capacity for greater adaptation.
So, you must ask yourself with honesty, who are you??
To do everything in love is to deny access to your mind to thoughts of negativity and complaint, to avoid the rule of dark and nagging feelings. In order to enjoy each moment, one must seek acts of care–acts in which you can put your whole energy and carry them out without frustration and stress.
Loving yourself and your behaviors because you have integrity and you bring out integrity is what matters in life, so you may create better opportunities and better futures for yourself and for others.
“Acts of care“
Were I a flower to be beauty without fears! Were I the wind to know life without binds! What if I were love to exist without tears?? What if you and I stopped telling great lies.
For to find meaning is to seek acts of care, For in care there is the beautiful flower. I have seen the immortal beauty to share, Beyond the petty excuses which devour.
Nearer and sweeter this music draws; The music in my acts of love expands. In this one moment I meet Universal Law, As my moral behavior heavenly stands.
All Nature responds to the eternal call; The call which carries my attention here. My behavior of integrity brings it to all; Anxiety and fear in morals do disappear.
The character, the morals and ethics, the integrity of someone shines in his personality, in the way he moves about things in his life, in the way he interacts with others and in the handling of situations. Personality shines brightly in the better behavior and attitude towards others and towards life situations.
This is opposite to what many people believe, that personality is mostly in your intentions and thoughts, and in your words and personal life philosophies. Of course, all this is also important, as thoughts, intentions, words, philosophies of life, are the origin and the glue of the better person and society; but, however, they DO NOT create your actual personality.
Your personality, as stated, is shown and strengthened in your daily behaviors; therefore, if you think kindness and say kindness, then you also have to live kindness through better behaviors. Higher morals and ethics only exist if the personality is shining brightly in better behaviors.
Now, a good personality based on true integrity must not be rigid. You cannot be attached to one way of being or behaving, leaving out the better understanding and tolerance of others different from you; so, the superior or better personality must be able to adjust to different environments and to different people, different lifestyles, different views and even behaviors different from yours.
This way of seeing life and universally behaving, without rigidness, without any attachment to your own ways of thinking and behaving, allowing tolerance and understanding towards others, brings power to your very presence, it attracts opportunities and people to your better personality.
You enter a room and you shine, you approach people and they immediately feel your persona, you become attractive in deeper ways, and your character makes you more able to accept your own life and that of others with love and openness, without getting frustrated easily, without stressing yourself easily and without any rigidness whatsoever.
Whatever your mind tells you will drive your actions, and with your actions or behaviors you will either create your life or destroy your life. This process, obviously, dictates the pleasant or unpleasant journey you have, and it shapes the interactions with those surrounding you; thus, this will create in you either self-love or a large and powerful ego which will rule you. And the difference is in what you feed your own mind.
Your mind is like a baby absorbing everything he experiences, and if you neglect or give the wrong education to this baby, then he will grow up to be unhappy and unsuccessful in his own life; he will adopt rebellious and even criminal thoughts, and even end up self-destructing and leading others to a dark abyss of the same unhappiness.
In order to give attention and love to that baby, you must spend time with that growing baby, acknowledge the potential for greatness in that baby, feel yourself proud of the education you give that baby. The mind grows stronger and wiser if you spend quality time with it, not just reacting to your environment and outside situations but being there, studying your thoughts, analyzing yourself and your emotions towards whatever happens.
Embrace the silence within yourself and stop looking for ways to fill that silence. Watch the inner reactions, self-talks, behaviors you have with yourself, and also watch the interaction with others; and in this manner you will rule and design your life with much love and prosperity. And isn’t that the whole point of life…??
Life is you, and you are life. There is no other experience to you but yours, and that is how you live the best life–by following your own experience. Sadly, there are people out there who live guided by the experience of others instead of by their own; and so, religion is born, politics is maintained by the ignorant rabble, and wars on nations are thriving due to idiots who follow their unwise masters. And all this happening in the world is relationship, atrocious and misguided relationships with society; such stupidity going back and forth, seeking a “solution,” seeking “truth,” reaching for “justice” in the very depths of hell, so no one has a good relationship with oneself. If you have a good, honest, truthful, loving relationship with yourself then you have all the love, understanding and happiness you need–i.e., you have found God and the eternal, you have found paradise and all source of strength. Have you found all this in you yet…?? (Be honest with yourself).
If you have a good and loving relationship with yourself you do not need religion, and you do not need to sustain and argue about politics, and you do not need to support any wars, and you do not live eating meats and fats, and you do not live pleasing your family, and the rest of the nonsense people do. So, I ask you again, have you found true love within yourself yet…?? Do you really have a good and honest relationship with yourself…??
Relationship then is being human. Why…?? Because being human, the reality of it, is behavior, not a thought or a feeling or an intention. Only through relationship, through behavior you live experiences and know yourself; this is life, ongoing adventure, exploration, progress, shaping your character, learning how to treat yourself and others. But if you are just living without learning, without actually improving and observing your own behaviors towards yourself and others, then what is the point…?? Just living without learning, without becoming better and progressing in character in relationship, is poverty, human poverty, poverty of mind, poverty of character (a weak woman, a weaker man); thus, the mirror is cracked and you only see yourself distorted, ugly and ignorant in the relationships you have in life–in your job, in your family, with your husband, with your wife, with your kids, with yourself, without love, without deeper understanding of what you go through, suffering over and over again and feeling depressed each time.
Look around you, whatever or whoever is nagging you, whatever or whoever is stressing you or making you suffer in any way, is the relationship you have with life and with people; and you have no one to blame but yourself, even though your ego will find excuses and put guilt on others. You project into the world, into your situations, into people, what you are and how you treat yourself; for all life is, indeed, is a relationship–i.e., your divinity is in relationship with your humanity, and your humanity with the world you experience with your physical eyes… So, focus on yourself and the most important relationship, and the rest will mirror it perfectly…
“If you want the moon, do not hide at night. If you want a rose, do not run from the thorns. If you want love, do not hide from yourself. ” ~ Rumi.
To love oneself, the elevation of oneself, the true knowledge of oneself, must be the purpose of our individual existence; because if one does not truly and absolutely love oneself, then one cannot truly love another being. And it is not enough to say in your mind “I love myself,” but it is in the small things of our daily living where we must show ourselves love–i.e., in the way we eat, in the types of food we ingest, in the thoughts we entertain in our minds, in cleaning our place, in cooking for ourselves, in exercising, in the things we read, etc. etc.
So everything starts in this love for ourselves. If you cannot accept and love yourself, everything and anything you do in life is superficial. Without self-love, you are forced to fall in the trap of seeking love and happiness outside of yourself–i.e., in relationships, in situations, in jobs, in travels, in cultures, in religions, etc.. This seeking is the form of false “love” the ego has created in you, this fake “love” is attachment.
As the darkness settled I felt empty, A void and an abyss deep within me. The people who were lost were plenty, A vast wilderness where I could not be.
The hidden loathing was for the many lies, Which I told to myself every waking day. And I would not listen to the loud cries, Ill by the pleasures of my body’s decay.
But as I saw I became one with the light, For before true love I knew estranged; The darkness in me had been my sight, The emptiness within had now Changed.
Thoughts, words, intentions, sincere or not, might be important to you, as a reason for hope, as senders of trust, as a message for or from someone you love felt in the moment; however, as I have said it before, all these are conditioned to the past because as soon as you pronounce them or feel them they are gone, up and down just like a roller coaster, and also they are attached to time, to your current moods, feelings.They are not actual experiences, they can mean something today and tomorrow something different, and the day after that they can be gone, forgotten.
The experience, the action based on love, as an apology, is the real thing; therefore; change is now, change is not of time, change is not tied to a word, a desire, a mere intention, change is eternal.
There is always change, moving forward onto better things, as life itself is change, as you bring love into the world by change, as you make others feel loved by your change; for this change says “I love you so much, I care so much, that I change and better myself for all of us; for I truly love myself.”
Change based on love then is what really builds and communicates a deeper connection–in friendship, in family, in marriages, in all relationships. But to change a behavior you must focus with steely determination and rest upon great motivation, become aware of your situation, feel in your heart the need and the want to change for your good and for the good of others. And the secret of change is not to do it solely for others, because if you do then at some point in time you will change back, you will allow your ego to pull you back into what you were before; because this change is superficial and based on fear and not love–fear because you are changing to please others, maybe because you want their love, their attention, popularity, etc. But true change is based on love, self-love; you do it for yourself, because you want to change, because you love yourself and you want to become better for yourself; furthermore, when you do this for yourself is true love because you do not get tired of working to better yourself, it makes you happy, and so it makes others happy.
That is why, in all honesty, if you want to trust, know, love and relate yourself with people, perhaps begin or strengthen a relationship also, always look at their actions, their behavior, as you change your behaviors as well; thus, never fully rely and love a word, a message, however loving and sincere. Trust the truth, which is changed behavior; because changed behavior is an actual display of love. And isn’t true love an action and not merely a word…??
“Apologies are great, but they don’t really change anything. You know what does?: Action.” ~ Stella Young; Australian comedian, journalist and disability rights activist.
“The Old Soul is more inclined to be a lifelong learner, constantly feeding his thirst for insight through his own persistent efforts. His learning has not been forced into him through education or learned out of obligation, but has been absorbed out of curiosity and personal choice.” ~ Aletheia Luna.
“It’s not uncommon for the Old Soul to experience some measure of depression, apathy or existential lethargy when it comes to living everyday life. After all, if physical existence loses its star-spangled gleam, and everyday affairs lose their burning importance, what is the point of living a dull life?” ~ Aletheia Luna; Australian spiritual writer, mystic and healer.
We all are eternal underneath this physical existence, and we all carry the memories and hidden aspects of many lifetimes flowing through our Infinite Intelligence; therefore, we all carry impressions of the past, of this life and of others before this one. We are the energy inside the atoms which makes up everything we experience, and that is a spiritual as a scientific fact as well.
Then we all have tendencies of freedom in our soul, and tendencies of mental elevation; however, most people have a greater influence of the world in their thoughts and behaviors–it could be genetics, it could be the influence of the people around them, etc. So, experiencing life and learning is different for all of us, but we all maintain the deep desire for free expression.
Some signs you are an old soul: 1) You tend to be a solitary loner. 2) You love knowledge, wisdom and truth. 3) You’re spiritually inclined. 4) You understand the transience of life. 5) You’re thoughtful and introspective. 6) You see the bigger picture. 7) You were a strange, socially maladaptive kid.
Old souls just feel more empathy, more intense intuition into what the world calls maturity, and they do not experience life the same as the rest of the people in the world. This is a reality, as I am myself an Old Soul, and I always have been different in many mental and emotional ways than the people around me, mostly my family.
Old Souls tend to experience more intense emotions and lean towards more specific occupations which involve the further development of those emotions in their lives–like spiritual teachers, artists, craftsmen, motivational and inspirational writers, life coaches, social work, etc.