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So, love and the mind are absolutely different experiences. The mind creates sexual desire, consuming passion, romance, obsession with your partner to possess her/him.
Love is a very powerful connection to one another, not attraction to a body or an arousal to a desire; but a deep connection which makes you peaceful and not excited, selfless in your thinking and behaving towards another.
Now, as human creatures we know love through the mind, we can access love and the experience of it; however, in order to know and experience love, one must tame the wild mind, control sexual urges and not be obsessed by them, so love can have room in the mind.
If the mind is filled with desires and obsessions, with constant thinking of sex and attachment to another, then love is not known, it does not truly exist in such a mind. Friendship is what better describes this selfless and unattached, liberating and peaceful phenomenon we call love.
That is how you know if you have true love for your partner, by being selfless, by being not obsessed by your sexual urges, by feeling like a true friend to her/him first. Friendship, this connection beyond desires, leads one to happiness, to bliss, to harmony in life.
If life and your mind is harmonious, not filled with urges and desires, then your relationships will be harmonious as well. A sexual attraction which is healthy for the mind is strengthened this way, for both the man and woman.
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So, love, that force which connects us all, the essence which makes us at some deep level realize that we all know each other from before, is a given; however, it is the mind of likes and dislikes the one that separates us and finds excuses to believe that we do not belong together.
So, when it comes to romantic feelings, our minds choose to see the negativity or the positivity in the relationship. The behaviors of a person could bring either that negativity or positivity as well, but we choose if to give those behaviors real importance or not. And it is a very personal decision.
Still, one must be able to keep the mind of likes and dislikes in peace and clear from any anger and anxiety in order to judge if to forgive those behaviors or not. Most of the time, people tend to jump to conclusions and judge immaturely and impulsively, without patience, without stepping back and observing the whole picture.
To do this, to step back, breathe and calm yourself in order to make the right decisions, one must be not just the significant other, the lover, but also the friend who understands and supports. Friendship, unattached and understanding, is vital to make any relationship work, specially a romantic one.
A friend can see your flaws and weaknesses and understand you better than a lover can. A friend cares enough to sit down quietly and listen without judging you. A friend gives you the space and the time you need to develop yourself intellectually and emotionally.
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Now, an immense love, or immense capacity for love, is already within the human creature; however, the ego, its attachments out of desire, out of vanity, out of blind excitement, creates more attachment, obsessively, and any attachment makes you a slave and robs you of freedom.
If freedom is stolen from you then there is no love, because as we said love is freedom, or to remain free; therefore, the ego does not know love but attachment, such attachment which blinds you from love through an intense desire to possess someone or something–which can be a person, an idea or belief, or a thing.
Attachment, being not true love, can mislead you into believing a desire is love; however, this desire is created by the ego, and thus blinding you in life.
Only true love knows wholeness, health, and true care for yourself and for others; for only love is peace and harmony within you, such peace and harmony which brings connection and honesty, intelligence and strength in life.
So loving is an art form, the greatest art form a human being can master; for true love frees you from the chains of ego and desire, and true love then connects and builds out of honesty with yourself and with others.
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Love is not man-made or a design of thought, but we must nurture it in our minds as well; and so in order to become understanding and experience its divine essence, its divine origins. To truly love ourselves, and another as well.
The intellect is ruled by concepts, philosophies, beliefs, opinions; therefore, all may form obsessions, stubbornness, goals. This can be good or bad for the evolution of our humanity; but it can certainly never be true love, for the intellect cannot know true love.
So, our minds must see beyond the intellect, beyond personal egos, to actually allow access to true love, to true connection from The Divine into the crudeness of our humanity, into the crudeness of our minds.
From there, it is all a question of keeping the intellect away from love.
“The Mind of Love“
O, the Mind of Love is gone from man!
Its divine grace and magic trampled.
How do I fly to the heights of heaven
When the intellect has stolen my wings …??
Just know the Father in God is wisdom,
And know the Mother in God is true love;
Both must be One Soul of Light in me,
As my being becomes freedom’s dove.
To rend a hundred veils and just be,
To do away with society and the world,
To acquire liberation from goals of “I”–
This is The Mind of Love of the lovers.
Within a silent mind, beyond petty time;
Within a simple gaze, the whole universe:
It is how The Mind of Love exists truly,
It is how our lives remain a poetic verse.
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Physical life is never-ending challenges, always a reason to live better, and the best way to exist and explore your own existence; and thus there is romance, friendship, family, etc.–all bases for our constant psychological and emotional evolution. And nothing and no one is ever a solution or perfect. All one must do is to see beyond the flaws and imperfections, and then you may experience the magic of love, of happiness. And a soulmate is there to help us, a mirror of ourselves, someone to shake our ego and teach us or point us to a deep realization within ourselves; however, this so-called “soulmate” is not tied or limited by romance, or any other label society has designed for your ignorant and egoistical needs.
To learn to see this is to have a realization which elevates you. To learn to see this is illumination to your conscience. Because the mind is always looking into perfection and constant bliss, but this is not real–just an egoistical comparison influenced by society. So, stop looking for perfect, stop looking for yourself, stop dreaming and creating exactly what your ego wants; expand your views, your mind, step away from the influence you carry from society and start seeing things as they really are in life.
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“The flame of the eternal“
Allow the very flame of the eternal to speak,
Allow our true love to soar ever higher;
As the young lover of the truth does seek,
As our very souls as one ignite the fire.
And let us not be hasty in our true affections,
For patience is the very essence of love;
And let us hold all our mental preoccupations,
For you and I sing with the angels above.
The beauty you carry shines like the moon
With its mighty spell on the heart of the tide;
The smile you bring to my heart is the tune
Which is the very secret to my affections guide.
Your lovely lips drink from the eternal word,
Which gives you eternal youth and splendor;
Your innocence as sweet as the hummingbird,
Your passions grow with the love most tender.
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“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” ~ Sam Keen; author, professor and philosopher.
“Love is happy when it is able to give something. The ego is happy when it is able to take something.” ~ Osho; Indian mystic, guru, and spiritual teacher.
All human experience is based upon true love, or the essence of love; however, the ego always wants to design opinions and interpretations, it wants to deviate the experience–i,.e., give that experience different qualities, feel, concepts, etc. And when it comes to relationships specially, the ego comes suddenly and focuses on the superficiality which has nothing to do with true love.
But when you focus on the positive behaviors or traits of the other person, then your mind frees itself from any suffering, your emotions help you experience happiness in each moment, and opportunities and life in general seem more enjoyable in all aspects.
On top of that, because you are focused on the good now, with your loving acceptance and example you pave the way for guiding yourself and the other person towards fixing those flaws or becoming better in the relationship. This is the magic of true love.
Beyong the ego
Love does not exist
Within the ego’s mist.
True love is beyond opinion and want,
Beyond the selfish taunt.
It is not of this time and space,
Not even of the body and face;
True love is the essence of deep care,
Of our physical lives the same air.
~ Asa
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The magic beyond the lips
Far greater than the magnificent eclipse,
More than just touch and sensation,
Spiritual harmony, two souls in connection.
There never was in my existence
The pure bliss in the persistence
Of your soul merging with mine,
Yes, you made me experience the sublime.
My being was lost and confused,
By hatred and several vices I was used,
The stars for me were not shining anymore,
My way was corrupted, my heart ill and sore.
But one day I met the miracle which made me
Realize my strength for you did tell me
That two souls which belong together
Are never apart, connected forever.
You became my friend and companion,
We visited the beach, the parks, the canyon.
Then something happened and my world was changed,
We felt that vital essences were exchanged,
The closeness of our bodies, the link of our minds,
The burst of energy, the love that binds.
It was the world within which elevated this poet
To incredible heights of the romantic sonnet.
God put images in my mind of bright stars,
Beautiful planets, Venus and Mars.
My heart sensed beyond the physical touch of our lips,
The dimensions I saw, the rich galaxies Within Our Kiss.
Plain words cannot describe that sensation,
For our spirits were in glorious elation,
Soaring through heavenly clouds of light,
Magical stories of love the poet cannot write.
We felt the mystery of our warm embrace;
It became a flame without time and space.
It burned deep in our souls as one,
Our lips and burning love under the sun.
Shy at first I communicated my sincere affection,
We talked for hours and found the connection.
Our hands held and I felt I knew you from somewhere,
Twin flames, a past life, a deepness we share.
Then we elevated the passion, there was pure bliss,
For I will always remember that Hot Sunset Kiss.