So, love and the mind are absolutely different experiences. The mind creates sexual desire, consuming passion, romance, obsession with your partner to possess her/him.
Love is a very powerful connection to one another, not attraction to a body or an arousal to a desire; but a deep connection which makes you peaceful and not excited, selfless in your thinking and behaving towards another.
Now, as human creatures we know love through the mind, we can access love and the experience of it; however, in order to know and experience love, one must tame the wild mind, control sexual urges and not be obsessed by them, so love can have room in the mind.
If the mind is filled with desires and obsessions, with constant thinking of sex and attachment to another, then love is not known, it does not truly exist in such a mind. Friendship is what better describes this selfless and unattached, liberating and peaceful phenomenon we call love.
That is how you know if you have true love for your partner, by being selfless, by being not obsessed by your sexual urges, by feeling like a true friend to her/him first. Friendship, this connection beyond desires, leads one to happiness, to bliss, to harmony in life.
If life and your mind is harmonious, not filled with urges and desires, then your relationships will be harmonious as well. A sexual attraction which is healthy for the mind is strengthened this way, for both the man and woman.
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