Just wanted to let you all know about my new Facebook group “ASCENSION THROUGH SELF-MASTERY.” Created today. It is a place where we can all share experiences and whatever messages of awakening and motivation we have.
Personally, to me this group is about connecting with people who seek to better their lives and understand more about themselves and the world. I am all about self-mastery and greater understanding of the human experience.
Questions or positive and uplifting material is greatly welcomed! It is a group about making friends and sharing with them. Expanding our minds through understanding ourselves and others is what ascension is. Feel welcome to join.
Relationships are what life is–i.e., relationship with yourself and your life, relationship with each experience, relationship with the earth, relationship with another human being, etc.
And when it comes to relationship with another, it can be difficult; so, one thing to remember is that each one of us is different, and require different treatment as our experiences shaped us differently–psychologically, emotionally, physically.
The first impulse of any decent and compassionate person is to help another, but one must always stop the desire rushing in the mind and ask oneself how to properly help; because, as I said before, each one of us requires different treatment.
So, to do this, you must practice the art of quietly observing people, without judging them, without guessing what they feel or think; but just be there, observing, learning about them.
And listen to your intuition. Most of the time people tend to try to help another in the same way they would help themselves, but we are all different; so we may differ in what we need as well.
Sometimes just listening to intuition is what we need to know how to help another. Sometimes is easier than what we think it is, because quite often it is about connecting to people by listening and just being there. Emotional connection is EXTREMELY important to connect with another and so help another.
There is too much noise in our minds, always chattering in there, wanting to express what we think and feel, trying to liberate how we feel about the world, what we hold dear to us and what we think of others.
But the truth is, no matter how freeing and good expressing ourselves through thoughts and words might be, there is no deeper connection and more direct communication quite often than silence. The wealth of listening is wealth like no other.
And not just mental silence is needed, but sometimes listening to others, listening for others to express their feelings, to liberate themselves, is allowing for this deeper connection to happen.
Because love and this connection is not found in thoughts or words, as good and noble as these might be; however, we must become silent in our minds and stop our chattering egos to really build a better connection and base of the true essence of what we call love.
And this means not only listening to others, but quite often just being there, sharing our time, allowing our silent hearts to speak through just sitting there with the person or persons we love. This is true love.
This understanding is paramount to be fully moral in character and so build all our healthy and truthful relationships in life, because indeed life is about relationships with yourself and with another.
So, then, you must learn to listen to yourself and to others properly. We all must. Not later, but now.
If you want to keep the love flowing, alive, burning constantly, deep and mature, make every day an adventure–prioritize adventure. The human mind gets bored and lazy with routines in relationships and in life in general, so bring a challenge to your mind, behave consciously, assume your role as woman or man of deep emotional understanding. This has to become more important than routine, otherwise affection will wither in time. And by adventure I do not mean go bungee jumping or run a marathon together, and I know most of the time people do these things because they think it really creates a rising in love in them, an eternal bond which grows in them; however fine and creative these activities, I am talking about deeper understanding, activities more at the emotional level.
Emotions and getting to the root of emotions is the key to access that power and that unity in all relationships. See, thrills and physical adventures are fine but they speak to the intellectual level, the level of likes and dislikes, the level of the ego and its activities–which, like mentioned, are fine and enjoyable, specially in the beginning of a relationship where everything is new and exciting like the new toy, because we are getting to know and enjoy each other’s presence and attraction. But it is the intellect where love is really…?? Can you truly find love if you live and enjoy each other from the mind’s point of view only…?? So how do you love somebody if you access only your ego/your mind/your intellectual witty and charm all the time…?? What is adventure at the emotional level in relationships…?? What is helping each other discover a deeper bond, a deeper union which can withstand all fear and challenges rising in the mind…??
Emotions are indeed what drive us. You can have the highest IQ, be really intellectual, be a great philosopher, but emotions will drive you without a doubt; and that is why it is so important to be emotionally conscious, or emotionally connected to yourself. In relationships, what shall build mutual bonding and unions beyond the anomalies and challenges brought by time is an emotional understanding and connection which surpasses that union of the mind–an emotional connection will drive your love for each other ever stronger, and an intellectual connection will help but it won’t be enough because the mind gets scared, angry, stubborn, enslaved by likes and dislikes, by moods in time.
And emotional adventure is profound communication, feeling trusted, feeling appreciated for how you feel not for what you do or for what you say only. Emotional adventure is supporting one another and feeling as one team, and not as two people with different paths who happen to live together or share a mutual liking. Wherever we go we hold hands, we smile at each other and feel what the other one feels, we are in harmony/in sync, we vibe the same through aging/through time, etc. etc… Only emotional understanding, emotional adventure, can unite two persons for life…
What creates dissension, wars, bullying, all aggression and neglect happening in the world today…?? What makes someone feel hate and feel threatened by someone else…?? Why is it that all mankind, but especially man, is reactive and stubborn, bellicose and unjust, towards other beings…??
The world is what it is today because of men which are filled with hatred and prejudice. Women who follow these pitiful men are weak, but still they are not responsible for the origins of our hateful and ignorant society. And men do not really feel connected to life, they believe themselves separated from other beings, they see what they want to see in their empty heads; and when there exists separation then fear appears. When fear appears all sorts of problems arise in the mind–i.e., hate, envy, pride, stubborn views, and feelings of superiority.
If you actually felt the hurt of another person in yourself, would you bring that same hurt still upon him….?? If you actually felt the pain in your words within yourself, would you still tell those hurtful words to your wife, to your child….?? What if you were connected to another being in a way where you would feel the same joy or pain, happiness or misery, that being feels…??–Would you feel happy when that other being is joyful…??–Would you weep when that other being suffers…?? (Be honest with yourself, because you can lie to others but not to yourself; so do not let your ego make you feel superior in your own lies.)
If you can feel this then, not sometimes, not when you want, not with people and animals you like, but with ALL beings, then you have achieved the greatest state of empathy only Enlightenment brings. And this means you have truly mastered yourself. When you truly feel this, things change for you because fear does not grip you anymore; thus, politics and its nonsense becomes uninteresting to you and irrelevant to your happiness, you cease to build walls of prejudice and hatred in your own everyday life, religion is seen as the ignorance of fear, you become wise and understanding of how others think and feel… Now, you entered a path of bliss where you connect to nature, to the simplicity of it, to the divinity of it…
One day a Russian traveler came to see an Indian mystic, and he said “I have come from very far to talk to you; may I enter and see you now.”
The mystic replied wisely, “Be at home, my friend; leave your shoes and come see me.”
The traveler entered, shut the door behind him quickly and unkindly, threw out his shoes with excitement, and neared the wise man. Seeing this, the mystic said, “Stop, my friend. You have to show love before you talk to me. Go back and apologize to the door and the shoes for the treatment.” “Apologize to the door and the shoes…?? Are they alive like you and me..??” said the traveler. …But the wise man said nothing… The man felt silly but he had come a long way to talk to the mystic, so he went back. To the shoes he said, “I sincerely apologize for having thrown you so carelessly.” And to the door he said, “I am sorry for my rude and violent behavior.”
… Having heard this, the wise man smiled with kindness, and said, “Now I feel you are full with pure love, and because of it this place is full of pure love. We can talk lovingly now, my friend.”
You can pick up a brick and treat it full of kindness and love as if you were picking up a friend. You can hold a loved one and do it with disgust and feelings of contempt. Everything is alive, moving or not to your eyes; everything must be appreciated for its existence, because love is the essence of the rock and of the loved one. A loving person is not the person who loves animals and humans, and then eats with greediness, behaves with things around him violently, and acts in his alone time with anger. A loving person appreciates all the things, sentient beings and not; for this person loves because this person has become the power of love itself. This person truly knows and understands, as a personal experience, the mystical essence of love, of himself…Can you be this person in your life…??
“On the path of the Master Love, we are neither Masters nor the owners of our lives. We are only a brush in the divine hand of the Master Painter.” ~ Rumi.
Do you understand relationships…?? What is the point of honest communication…?? Do you bring freedom to your relationships…??
In human relationships the key element is honest communication, as we all know, as we all try to become better human beings in life; however, quite often one gets taken by this obsession for winning, for coming out ahead, for proving ourselves to the other, thus the ego takes over and a communication based on love and understanding vanishes. This calls for self-reflection and less pride; so, this calls for more rich silence, less talking.
The ego likes to talk and show off, defend itself and seek security; but the true heart of love is silent, wise, listens because it knows in silence there is true freedom. And what is love…?? Is it a word…?? Is it talking and arguing…?? No. True love is an essence which lives in the rich silence; in the rich silence of listening, in the rich silence of holding hands and walking together, in the rich silence of staring deeply into each other’s eyes… without a sign of ego… without trying to fix anything… without empty words all the time…
And that is exactly what one must bring into a relationship, into an honest communication with another, such freedom to liberate the mind of another and make them feel valued, appreciated to allow themselves to be heard by us, to express themselves freely and without any contention or threat.
This is love and understanding, to show true care in what someone else thinks and feels; because sometimes talking is of the ego and vanity itself, because sometimes to be quiet and listen is to guide our relationships into new, vaster horizons.
“Much talking is the cause of danger. Silence is the means of avoiding misfortune. The talkative parrot is shut up in a cage. Other birds, without speech, fly freely about.” ~ Saskya Pandita; Tibetan spiritual leader, Buddhist scholar, and writer.
How can anyone actually listen without losing the message being conveyed…?? Why is it that so many arguments and misunderstandings in relationships occur…?? What is healthy communication, the kind of communication which unites or connects in harmony…?? …
Have you honestly ever stopped your rushing mind and ponder about this? Because if we analyze its importance, then we find that communication in any relationship is key; for communication is not only sharing opinions and passing a message, which is important in itself, but communication is an art form–communication is a deeper understanding of each other, a deeper realization of each other’s ideas and feelings.
A deeper understanding and realization in order to find solutions which work for both parties, and also to mitigate misunderstandings and any psychological or even physical violence. Listening is the biggest part of a healthy communication, which is done only if your entire attention is on this process of listening.
If while communicating your attention is on your own thoughts and you are thinking on your reply to argue further, then you are losing the meaning of the communication, because you are disconnecting from this art form and you are distancing yourself from the other person or persons.
This ignorant act certainly creates a mind which is agitated, confused, violent, which lashes out at the ones around it; consequently, bringing its own suffering and walking away from one’s own heart.
Wholeness of attention is to delve deeply into it, it is to stop your rushing mind when someone else speaks and being there wholly, listening without judgement; and because you cannot know everything, the inward act of attention conveys a message of humility saying, “I care about someone else’s feelings and not just my own, so I take the time to respect the other person as I’d like to be respected.
“Whatever you focus your attention on will become important to you even if it’s unimportant.” ~ Sonya Parker; American relationship writer, vloger, coach, and activist.
“Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?” ~ Bob Marley.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi.
We attract what we are. When our thoughts and intentions, our personalities and views in life, are similar or they resonate with each other then there is harmony, deep connection, and sense of communion which unites us both. And there is no point then in trying to find the right person or someone who can help us become better, because that is the ego always seeking outside for new experiences and relationships, seeking for something new which can bring entertainment to the emptiness inside.
Seeking without is seeking in the world for whatever we haven’t searched in the inside, it is a way to distance ourselves from the emptiness we fear inside, and it is definitely a way to escape the silence we fear within our true selves.
People seek all their lives, seek and seek, more shopping, more relationships, more children brought into this world, more traveling, more parties, more noise, add infinitum; however good or bad these may be, these are pleasures of life, and one must recognize in oneself first why are these needed. Am I seeking out there all these things and experiences because I am empty inside…?? Am I seeking these because I am unhappy and so I want to find happiness and a solution to the problems in my life…??
Maybe the solution to every little dilemma you have in life is within you, literally seeking within, getting used to the silence within, exploring the beyond within.
Ignoring your true self and covering it with relationships and things is just fooling yourself, which is just adding more thick mud to your emptiness and adding to your problems. And by doing this, you are not just damaging yourself further but you are damaging another person brought into your life.
You must love yourself first to love another. You must be successful and happy first to find success and happiness in the world. You must be the right person first to find the right person in the world.
Don’t be ignorant and foolish. Realize the truth within yourself first.