Many times we assume in a conversation. I find that assuming can become an obstacle when it comes to clear communication. Our greatest way to connect to somebody is through listening and also sharing clearly how we feel. Sometimes assuming is presumptuous and obtuse, because it inflates our ego and disconnects us emotionally in the conversation.
Feeling what the other one feels
Feeling what the other one feels is empathy. It is something beyond the intellect and its desire to be right. It is putting ourselves in the mind and heart of that somebody, and then getting closer to their experience. This gives us greater insight, understanding, and it makes us more human–kind, generous, attractive, worthy of respect, love, and admiration.
Relationships are what life is–i.e., relationship with yourself and your life, relationship with each experience, relationship with the earth, relationship with another human being, etc.
And when it comes to relationship with another, it can be difficult; so, one thing to remember is that each one of us is different, and require different treatment as our experiences shaped us differently–psychologically, emotionally, physically.
The first impulse of any decent and compassionate person is to help another, but one must always stop the desire rushing in the mind and ask oneself how to properly help; because, as I said before, each one of us requires different treatment.
So, to do this, you must practice the art of quietly observing people, without judging them, without guessing what they feel or think; but just be there, observing, learning about them.
And listen to your intuition. Most of the time people tend to try to help another in the same way they would help themselves, but we are all different; so we may differ in what we need as well.
Sometimes just listening to intuition is what we need to know how to help another. Sometimes is easier than what we think it is, because quite often it is about connecting to people by listening and just being there. Emotional connection is EXTREMELY important to connect with another and so help another.
There is too much noise in our minds, always chattering in there, wanting to express what we think and feel, trying to liberate how we feel about the world, what we hold dear to us and what we think of others.
But the truth is, no matter how freeing and good expressing ourselves through thoughts and words might be, there is no deeper connection and more direct communication quite often than silence. The wealth of listening is wealth like no other.
And not just mental silence is needed, but sometimes listening to others, listening for others to express their feelings, to liberate themselves, is allowing for this deeper connection to happen.
Because love and this connection is not found in thoughts or words, as good and noble as these might be; however, we must become silent in our minds and stop our chattering egos to really build a better connection and base of the true essence of what we call love.
And this means not only listening to others, but quite often just being there, sharing our time, allowing our silent hearts to speak through just sitting there with the person or persons we love. This is true love.
This understanding is paramount to be fully moral in character and so build all our healthy and truthful relationships in life, because indeed life is about relationships with yourself and with another.
So, then, you must learn to listen to yourself and to others properly. We all must. Not later, but now.
As we live we fear what may happen, and we fear what was long ago, and we fear what we do not understand; therefore, the excuses are many and the fear we have grows and grows. Maybe new fears appear as we embark on new journeys, in meeting new people, new challenges and situations in our life, frustrations galore due to unresolved issues and dark visions of a future. We feel like everything is against us, and above all we become impatient because we do not see a way out or even a little bit of progress; but this is not us, whatever we are experiencing is of time, it passes, it is a trick from the mind however real to us.
Nothing can really hurt you and kill your hopes, “break” you heart and deny you better opportunities for progress; for your mind is the obstacle, and if you tame your mind and do not just react you shall see heaven.
By saying that you shall see heaven I do not mean that everything will be perfect, obviously; but what I mean is that if you tame your mind you can really get in touch with yourself and find that harmony and silence that you are deep inside. Once you are born, as you go on growing, your conscious mind develops, experiences that shape your persona, anxiety and stress become you, memories begin fear in you; but as you age only your humanity gets taken like this, that source of eternal energy that is you still lies within, immutable, perfect, wise, intuitive, connected to a higher awareness. You can feel it when you become silent and meditative, without distractions and without anxious thoughts, can you not…??
Each one of us has this, we are it, beyond whatever we suffer and live; furthermore, you must seek this within yourself and wake up to life, and see that it has much more to offer than frustrations and problems. When you see darkness remind yourself that light is there as well, it is the same essence or energy; but it is just a matter of how you look at it, either with a busy, overwhelmed and anxious mind, or with a faithful and meditative mind.