





Blop– Blop– Globules of dreams. Spherical forms of happiness and misery. Color changing bubbles reflecting her soul and mine, what was gained, what was lost. At times red. At times blue. At times bright recollections, thousands of them, of a past alive and fresh. At times obscure reminders, millions of them, of a past so miserable and frustrating which I could not bear for the life of me.
Blop– Blop– The new house on the valley of roses and thorns. That fateful night of pure romance. My soul-twin. And the warm touch of her hand. The faucet dripping. The cat which I never loved. Those Teddy bears which mocked me when I passed our room. I had made my demands and she had made hers, but it all had been a whirlwind and no one had known what had happened. I did swim deeply in the love she had offered, even though I had hated her amusements and characters. And so she had hated mine.
Blop– Blop– We had been lovers and enemies. I see that through the bubbles now. I surrender to many things now, my immaturity and blindness, my ego and arrogant ways… But I recognize now through the color-changing bubbles that my surrendering comes too late. Too late. The car had deviated from its path and the bridge had marked the next event, and so it had been too late for us… The bubbles… The bubbles were awaiting patiently. And maybe. Maybe it was written in the stars. Maybe it was written in our souls. Only God knows that.
Blop– Blop– The depth is incredible, there are fish here and it is beautiful, spirits of love and tenderness among my recollections of happiness and sadness; I keep seeing through its mirror, I keep seeing her and she smiles. And our flesh and thought is old now, dying, dead, because of the bubbles, and because of the car… The car which forged our destiny, the end of our happiness and misery, the end of our love and hate.
“Writing means sharing. It’s part of the human condition to want to share things–thoughts, ideas, opinions.” ~ Paulo Coelho; Brazilian lyricist and novelist.
Throughout history, without exceptions, man has always felt the necessity to express himself, as part of his biology and as a way to know himself and his innermost thoughts and feelings; because keeping them inside only makes the human experience not worth it, for human beings are a collection of billions around the world with different beliefs and experiences, but in essence, beyond all thought and form, we are all really one and that is why we struggle to express our current human individuality through various forms of expression. So the urge is spiritual or coming from the energy which makes this human form and thought we carry around, and we transform this urge into writing, painting, sculpting, filmmaking, photography, dancing, performing, the act of sex, violence, arguments, relationships, sports, etc. etc.
Writing and the development of writing is specially freeing to me because it allows me to know myself in detail, I get to look deep within me and find everything and anything which makes me who I am as a human expression, everything and anything which creates my thinking and feeling, and so I get to experience how my thoughts arise and fall and how my emotions flow constantly up and down like a roller coaster. Pouring your thoughts and emotions give you absolute freedom and power over yourself, because writing is a detailed form of expression; and besides that, it is creative, no matter what you write if it comes from your heart, and creativity is the only outlet to manifest the past, present, and future of our perspectives in this life, and creativity is what flows all around us and within us.

Writing is a most influential way to communicate and wake people to other views and realities, as people tend to create their own views and realities so it is essential to understand and absorb the experiences of others in order to better ourselves and widen our mental horizons. Quite often, more than we would like to admit, one feels overwhelmed and confused by superficial thoughts and stresses of ever day, so in this way it is very important to observe our inner condition and let it all out through the sharing process. At the physiological and also psychological levels, we need to take care of our mental frustrations and stressful data overflowing our nerves, which has a giant effect on our immune system.
In order to avoid illnesses of the mind and of the body, being creative and self-expressive in our writing are two things that must go hand in hand; opposite to this, if we repress one or the other within us and negate of either its existence, then, we will clutter inside and become filled by all this–i.e. no real creativity is expressed from us, and so this will cloud our rationality and influence our thoughts and behaviors towards our own selves and towards others, this will then bring much suffering into our relationships and into all endeavors in our life.
We need to be open with ourselves and honest with ourselves, because in this self-absorbed society, where everyone is rushing everywhere, there is no knowledge of self to taste real freedom; and, through creative and self-expressive writing you can achieve to motivate others to taste that same freedom and/or learn from your own experiences, connecting thus all humanity and bringing a higher conscious awareness.

Absolutely no being is born into this world with evil or with hatred towards anything, because the pure heart does not produce evil, the pure, untainted heart only produces the natural condition, love, peace and bliss, which are one unity, one condition of wholeness, the one existent and irrevocable truth, one universal consciousness, ONENESS, complete harmony and perfection; but, however, evil and erroneous belief is created by thought, by human conditioning, by weakness of our own choosing when we attach to a rigid mindset, when we follow other weak and poisoned minds. Because we have all forgotten our natural state or condition of love and unity, and thus felt fear, doubt, without purpose, being led by our mundane and egotistical physical senses, which run amok untamed and unguarded, our perception of reality becomes narrow and confused and we start thinking darkly and empty; as in we need something, we are not whole, we need security, we need love to be whole again, we need a leader to straighten our path and guide us because we feel too weak and ordinary, maybe even broken by our past or by our vices, to find it alone.


“Everyone experiences tough times, it is a measure of your determination and dedication how you deal with them and how you can come through them.” ~ Lakshmi Mittal; steel magnate.
I was walking my dog this morning under the half-asleep but beautiful sky of Provo, Utah, while enjoying the perfect whispers of air. I started looking around me and observed the trees, the singing birds, the colony of ants working early in the spot of dry dirt near me, and I was reminded of the beauty of nature even here in the city. And then I kept on walking and encountered the giant stones and rubble from construction–i.e. a construction site of building apartments which we sometimes visit for our morning walks at about 6 am. My eyes fell onto the giant stones and, for some reason, I was reminded of the other side of life, the duality we must deal with in this life in order to achieve progress, the man-made structures, relationships, and challenges; because looking at that rock made me acknowledge and understand further the stone we sometimes design over our hearts, just like a shield or a covering wall around the beating heart.
Life is beautiful and rich, both in spiritual wisdom and in the material growth of man, but it is plagued by challenges which can either make us or break us, and it is always up to us to decide despite the ugliness and unfairness we may meet along our journey, either become masters of the wonderful fate we create or become victims of the destructive fate we create. Quite often we fall prey of constant fear and stress, whether in our jobs, relationships, chosen lifestyles, etc., and, more often than not, prey of others, whether our bosses, our own family and friends, our neighbors, even people we do not even know; however, we must understand beyond pain and sorrow that everything and anything which happens to us is never random, is never a source of “luck” or a lack of it, but that all which befalls has a purpose. Life, beyond the egotistical and, often wicked, schemes and designs of man, is the ultimate teacher of wisdom and Higher Intelligence, and life works for us if we have an open heart to hear it; however, if we close our hearts and let the ego-mind scream loudly, as it always does with its pitiful and obnoxious whining, then we won’t hear the teaching of the master and instead we’ll hear our own stressful and fearful thoughts.

If we have a problem, let us say for example, an economic one and so we cannot pay mortgage or rent this month, what do we do, we wallow in the fear of the deadline and we start following our own thoughts of hate and self-pity; however, this creates more stress and nuisance to our well-being, our mental strength decays and our views of life narrow because we only allow our problem in our consciousness, and, going beyond that, we must remember that our minds and brain processes are attached or connected to our bodies, thus via our strained nerves and poisoned blood now our immune system falters and we become more prone to disease and all kinds of more serious mental and bodily injuries. One thing that most people ignore or even deny is this: Our minds and the contents we put there are electric and vibrational emitters and receivers; therefore, we truly attract and repel whatever lies in our conscious, our waking mind and the one we know, and whatever lies in our subconscious, the mind which is divine and hidden from our reach and the one which contains many traits of our personalities, views, fears, etc. etc.
Let us explore something more terrible of the human condition, namely rape: Rape is an extreme form of violence against the body and mind of a person, the wicked and injurious act robs the person of mental peace and security and leaves the same with a massive and profound wound which affects that person and the ones he loves; but, it does not stop there, because rape also distorts reality in the victim, life turns fearful and full of ugliness wherever that person goes mentally and physically. But, like Buddha says, “Every experience, no matter how bad it seems, holds within it a blessing of some kind, the goal is to find it.” So, the rape victim has two choices, one is destructive and much more painful, the other one is a blessing if the right perspective is chosen. One can either think about it for the rest of one’s life and live in misery and contempt, perhaps after a while kill oneself; or, the other one, one can get professional help dealing with the emotional trauma, become stronger and deal with the present, not the past or the future, life as it is and in time just put it in the past regardless of what happened. I know it must not be easy, but there is always time and wisdom that cures all. Man does ignorant, sometimes called evil, deeds, but that fact shouldn’t be an excuse to live a life full of hatred and misery.

See, the ego in man resides in the conscious, where the fear and stress is born from the chattering thoughts of everyday. But life is beautiful and rich, and, beyond the pain and suffering we may encounter along this man-made world, our minds always decide how to see what we have experienced, our minds decide if we attach ourselves to self-pity and ego or if we continue stronger and more resolute than ever before; so, better pay attention and use higher rationale from an open heart, we should take control of our minds lest we start hating life itself.
Let your heart speak to you, and more in times of trouble.
“The domain of individual destiny is controlled by an interplay of many cosmic forces, mainly benign; but in the present world society, due to mankind’s misunderstanding of both earthly and heavenly purposes, these forces have been turned to other uses, frequently chaotic and disintegrating.” ~ Count St. Germain; alchemist, painter, philosopher, essayist, poet, diplomat, philanthropist, musician.
When most of us hear the word ‘Alchemy’ we picture an old sage in ancient times leaning against a hot pot stirring and stirring and creating mysterious fumes while wearing a large robe, mainly stirring and stirring to create some elixir or to turn lead into gold. But that is just the superficial part of the science of Alchemy; because, in fact, Alchemy started the sciences we have today–i.e. chemistry, psychology, botany, geology, physics, anatomy, physiology, etc. etc. Let us have in mind not just ‘Alchemy’ but ‘Mental Alchemy,’ because the human mind is all in the Alchemy of the true sage, because the human mind hides mysterious and fascinating energies to transmute the lead of the ego of simple man into the gold of the god-man. So there is the study of who we are, and I do not mean our names or cultures, nationalities or the identities we create for ourselves; however, I mean the study of who we are beyond this waking thought we experience every day and this body made of flesh and bone. To be more precise, is the study and discovery of our true Inner Self, which some may call Spiritual Self or Divine Energy; hence, it is about the energy and essence that makes us and sustains our life, which connects us to one another and to all nature, precisely all nature from the dust on the earth and the insect on it to the planets and stars in the vast dark above us.
The roots of Alchemy date back to ancient Egypt, and perhaps even before that, and a mysterious manuscript called ‘The Emerald Tablets.’ Alchemy arrived in Spain during the Arabian occupation by the Moors and then spread to the rest of Europe. Alchemy reigned as the supreme science in Europe for about 1,700 years. In fact, many of the cathedrals of the Middle Ages carry alchemical symbols and secret formulae.
This is a coin minted from alchemical gold showing the symbol of lead (the ignorant, waking mind of the simple man) going up to heaven to transmute into gold (the mind of the god-man or the superior, spiritual intellect in man).
Only a very few adepts knew of the essential agent, the sublime heat of the soul, which fuses the emotions, consumes the prison of leaden form and allows entry into the higher world. Carl Jung made alchemical methods part of modern psychology when he talks about the subconscious mind in man (the Infinite Intelligence in man).
But, you see, reader, the true science of Alchemy is the science of the spirit in man; therefore, because is about the spirit and so it does not have anything to do with machinations of men or material temples or churches built by men, religions of the world do not have a claim on this higher science. Because the spiritual, the divine in man, the gold in man must not be confused with the crude, the ignorant dogmas and ideas in the simple man, the lead which is of the lower man. 
As people grow throughout life, they start to imitate one another, consciously and subconsciously, mimicking the personalities and identities which they see fit and which brings pleasure to his daily lives. Because of their new adopted views in religion, society, nationality, culture, etc., and due to becoming fearful followers and not leaders of their own lives, most dwell in a sense of unreality as they become victims of themselves under the ideas and interpretations of others, and subsequently they persist in identifying themselves as vile sinners dependent of some human leader and a divine god up in the skies to deliver them to some promised land. People thus become victims and go throughout life blind to their fortunes and believing in some divine blessing or curse falling upon them, and they are never masters of their destinies but humble servants of their own egos; that is, enslaved to their wild imaginations and ego-created fears.
This fear and ignorance transforms their thoughts and feelings into hell on earth; however, the purpose of all thought and feeling is to give us the beautiful form of wise and individual experience, to thus shape our self-confidence and unique personas into higher intellects, higher personas in the spiritual and mental realms. So we Alchemists, true and wise Alchemists today and always, understand this and embrace this in our hearts; because we recognize that thoughts and feelings are exposed to sadness and misery as well as higher intelligence and wisdom, and in order to have only the latter we need to lead and not follow, have a free mind and accept who we are beyond all idea and form. By stopping to watch TV, by not falling into the shopping and commercial trap, by not following society and religion, by not choosing an identity based on friends and family, by not imitating others, by watching the food-energy we put in our bodies, etc. etc., this can be accomplished.

So, life is not meant for us to embrace mediocrity and be content with following the herd, and it is not meant for us to massacre our higher purpose by living in the fear and anxiety all TV, society, religion, nationality, culture creates; but it is meant for us to be unique in all aspects and raise above all feelings of fear and anxiety. Every human being has mighty energies and capacities, from the homeless person living under the bridge to the spiritual Alchemist who feels one with all, and so this is why we are born and given thoughts and feelings inside a physical form; and, even though most people do not really understand and embrace that fact in their behaviors, we must accept what we do not see and hear in our heads, we must realize that we all have the capacities to be Alchemists and lead our own lives, the capacities to turn crude lead into divine gold, because no society, religion, father or mother, friend or acquaintance, can do it for you, can better your life.
“Each man’s life represents a road toward himself.” ~ Herman Hesse; German-born Swiss poet, novelist, and painter.
One day, a disciple asked Buddha:
“Most respected one, can you please tell me what is the size of the universe?”
Buddha replied :
“Will knowing the size of the universe help you end suffering?”
The disciple answered:
“No, most respected one.”
Buddha then answered :
“So why are you asking questions of little importance and not asking questions on the ending of suffering?”
In the world, there are people who are intrigued with heaven, there are people who are afraid of hell, there are people who want to learn about supernatural powers; but, in reality, these people’s minds are just ignorant and out to enjoy temporary relief from their empty and somewhat boring lives, perhaps their lives are not fulfilling in certain human aspects in society–i.e. they do not like their jobs, they have family problems, they feel insecure about themselves in some deep aspect of life, they feel trapped by something, their nagging thoughts are always focused on conspiracy theories and in the ugliness and stupidity of society which darkens the mind instead of on the truths and beauty of life which inspire the soul, etc. etc.–and all process which is pleasure and a form of delusion, because they want to ease their existence and step away from the fear the unknown creates in them, feel like they are learning above others and doing something extraordinary, and be one more of the ignorant group without caring about inquiring into the truths of things for themselves and thus feed their egos.
Now, most religions preach about how the universe was made, what happened afterwards, the scriptures’ meanings, that their path is the right path and their ceremonies the righteous ones to get into a heaven which only accepts them and their beliefs, that their prophets or pope now-a-days talk to God (which is not true but a creation of the mind, for if people stops following the herd and think for themselves they discover the blasphemy in this, that it is another delusion man created in his own ambitious mind; because God is ABSOLUTE Love, and this creative force has no religion, and because God does not lean towards a group of men or dogmas).
See, man in his arrogance and delusion created religion, and that is why there are so many of them out there; because religion comes from a desired ideal to rule in people’s minds and hearts, an ideal comes from thought and thought is of this world.

Religion does not want you questioning and looking into yourself, because if you do look and question into yourself long enough then you will see through the strong illusion they have created within you, through their charade and mind control which keeps you chained to insecurity of life, death, and what’s next; and, most importantly, they do not want you to find out who and what you truly are, for they day you find out this you verily awaken and become a god-man which feels no need for them and their pitiful institutions anymore, and a god-man whose mind is rebellious, uniquely free and creative, and more clear and that can peer into man’s very intentions and psychology. I know this from experience in my own life. Know thyself and you shall know that you are God.
However, one should learn the true happiness/blissfulness: The happiness or Nirvana, the end of suffering. Because life is painful and that is a rule of life, to learn from, to get back up, to raise above it, to conquer ourselves and to fulfill our own individual greatness. But, even though life is painful, Buddha has said that suffering is optional; we can overcome suffering because the god in us/the divine energy in us all gave us the ultimate weapon that cures all, and all we have to do is learn how to use it and harness it properly (some people learn, some people do not). The OMNISCIENT AND ETERNAL POWER OF LOVE.
Love is all there is in the universe, but we do have to understand what it really is, because it is not just superficial, because it is not just a warming feeling here and there rising within us whenever we fulfill a desire or an expectation, and because it is not just a positive thought which the Bible or a person’s words puts there; furthermore, wrongly and ignorantly, most people believe that love is found in other people, relationships, things, events that occur in life, without understanding that true love is discovered and not found. True love is discovered in oneself, it is accepting yourself and increasing your self-esteem on your own every day without following the lost masses, just believing in yourself. And the only path to increase your self-esteem and believe in yourself 100% is to empty your mind of all the garbage society, television, religion, books, culture, nationality, etc., put there; when your mind is absolutely free of all this, then you will be unshackled and left with clear space to fill your mind with the rich truths of life.
When your mind is empty of the garbage of the world, you can fill it with great and deep self-compassion and self-acceptance, you can fill it with the strength and self-confidence to become whoever your heart says you become, you’ll reach success in any aspect of life because now you embrace fear and you do not run away from it. This is why people are always stuck, because they run away from fear, they avoid it like the plague; however, the true warrior in the battlefield of life does not run away from fear, nor he avoids it, but he conquers it by embracing it, because this warrior knows that fear is not the enemy but the opposite side of valor, and so he turns it around and uses it to his own advantage.
See, religion and society are built upon the ignorance and subconscious fear of the masses, and it is not good for them that you should find yourself free of fear and confusion, lest they lose the grip they have on you and you stop buying things you don’t need, stop going to church and paying their tithing and helping grow their power, stop watching their nonsense on TV, stop filling your mind and body with the literary and also with the food garbage they force upon you, and so on and so forth.
In short, for the ones among us who really understand, one word to describe love who conquers all of the above-mentioned it is ‘Peace’. ABSOLUTE inner peace. Peace of mind. Peace of heart. Just Peace. Nothing else in the heart and mind. But just untainted Peace. Not the peace offered by others, or by following others. The Peace you discover within yourself when you look within yourself.
Peace while watching the crazy man-made world turn.




