I’ve been on the other side, which is the side of attachment and self-neglect. When I was looking to fit in and to be like the rest, seeking their approval, seeking to belong to a group of thinkers, believers, philosophers. We all seek this when there is no knowledge of self. We seek to belong and to feel part of others and of what others do, and this quite often becomes an obsession, a corruption as we become more like others and lose our uniqueness. Most of us fall into this, because we cannot be with ourselves. We might feel empty, not worthy by ourselves, like something is missing; therefore, we look to others and to think like them.
We really are different and unique, each one of us; however, by trying to be like others, by following a belief, a philosophy, a behavior which is not truly ours we become distanced from ourselves and from our uniqueness. The world is full of people who seek an identity outside themselves, in a crowd, in culture, in tradition, in religion, in politics. This brings them more emptiness and loneliness. Happiness is in discovering yourself, to stand on your own, to lead your own thinking and feeling, to create better behaviors based on your uniqueness. Trying to copy others dulls the mind, and it makes the emptiness, the frustration, the loneliness stronger in you.
There is nothing more important in life than to be and feel whole, to discover ourselves by taking care of ourselves. Don’t focus on others, on what philosophers say, on what religions say, on what groups of people (whoever these groups are) say. Life is about being happy, and to be truly happy one must learn to think for oneself. There is no normal. We are all different. Think for yourself and don’t seek to copy the “normal” offered by society, by your family, by politics and religion. Nothing will make you whole, able to feel successful and happy, unless it is your own unbiased thinking. Forge your own path. It works for me. It will do so for you as well.
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