Tag: Self-blame

“When we have painful memories from hurting experiences, we may feel justified in holding on to the resentment.  But resentment is corrosive.  It doesn’t affect the person we feel anger toward, it destroys the host.” ~ Susan L. Taylor; American editor, writer, and journalist.

Painful memories

Memories, specially painful ones, have the power to arrest our bodies, even our clear thinking; however, they only hold that power if we allow them to, because memories are just thoughts which somehow have stayed with us throughout our lives, and thought is always an entity we can watch.

Quite often, we go ahead and entertain painful memories because deep inside we like to feel like victims or feel that somehow if we remind ourselves of the pain we’d be less guilty, or, even worse, through reliving painful memories the ego manifests that we deserve our guilt.

This is getting some form of twisted pleasure from feeling guilt and blaming ourselves and carrying that weight on us over and over again–i.e., a sort of masochism, and certainly ignorance.

And, as we all know, self-blame is one of the most toxic forms of emotional abuse.  It amplifies our perceived inadequacies, whether real or imagined, and paralyzes us before we can even begin to move forward.  And what is even worse, because it poisons your body and causes all kinds of tension, and it changes your mood and the vibrational state of your entire body, your loved ones and all people you come in contact with are affected too.

As Buddha wisely said: “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”
Painful memories are always there; but you can accept them and move on, do not engage with them as they emerge; or you can allow them to make you suffer and cripple your emotional body while affecting you and others you love.
Your life.
Your choice.