Tag: Art of love

…Did you ever love me…??  Do you love me now…??  Of  course you do; you were always there for me, I just did not realize it at the time… too self-involved… too busy obeying the demands of the lower beast dwelling in me.  But I wonder if you knew.  Or if I knew.  But I’m sure I did; I mean I was there, experiencing, living my own sudden reactions of hate and love.  Alchemy was hidden, wasn’t it…??  And love sounded prissy, maybe weak, even overrated perhaps…  It just wasn’t enough for me, and it was not the main discussion among my “friends” either; no, it was all about the latest tech app and Hollywood movie out there, the pitiful game of immature relationships and the greed for money.  No, it was in me, this higher alchemy, this higher love and understanding of myself, of others, and of life, but I chose to ignore it and put a concrete wall between us, shielding me from… from me really… from the Higher me…

Ha–  It’s funny, really odd as well, like I was here before, like I had the same train of thought before; so, get this, as I sit here thinking about this a kind of déjà vu seems to overwhelm each cell of my being, veiled and still unclear past memories keep sort of flooding me, making me feel… I don’t know… intense, full of understanding, powerful in a way, almost like I can fly…  But I never flown before, I was confined to the lower perception of myself, and quite disrespectful of myself, distant from the true self-acceptance and confidence radiating through me now.  Yes, I was blind back then, I wouldn’t see people and accept people, see myself and accept myself; I would only see and experience the illusion of the everyday nuisance, these false identities and values in the popularity and wealth from TV celebrities, the lies of politics, the robotic activities of a zombie society, and my own interpretation of love and that misguided interpretation the world has of it.

It was knowledge of the Higher Intelligence flowing through me.  The Great Eternal Mind!  They call it that in our fields of Mental Science, in the Alchemical Labs of the mind of the Higher-Thinking Man…  Yes, absolutely, gnosis did it.  The knowledge increased the understanding within me and pushed wisdom where I could experience it, where my monkey thoughts would be silenced and put aside so I could open my eyes to what I couldn’t see before.

…But, wait, why didn’t you leave me…??  Why did you stick around…??  You could have left, because I neglected you for more than three decades and I even buried you under dark thoughts of lust and anger and under behaviors of ignorance and disdain for myself and others.  …Love again, wasn’t it?  But–But is more than just love what we share, it is the true Essence of Creation itself, it is the original formula of self-transformation, like a constant experience of bliss, and not just the emotional roller coaster of pleasure of human love…  And my family, my friends, people I know, are not there yet; they see me a little askew, cannot process this whole transformation, this deeper understanding of the invisible which has awakened within me, and the fact is they may never get there, they may never experience this bliss, this higher awareness which makes all depression and irrelevance in the world melt away…  It is the tough truth of the universe, you taught me that.  “The lips of wisdom are closed, except to the ears of understanding”–as it goes.

But my love for them has grown even stronger now, because I understand all they think and experience, all their reactions and beliefs, at a deeper level.  It is like that time I got stuck for a while on the top of the fair ride, where the roller coaster cart held me really high and I could see the whole fair park from this elevation–the people walking around eating greedily their cotton candies looked so tiny in the crowd, following the path taken by others and absorbed in the pleasures of the day, looking up at me and wondering why I was there and why I wasn’t with them.  Clouds above, blue sky around me, cool breeze of altitude caressing me and my new thoughts.  I was closer to heaven back then, but did not know it.  But now I do.